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Showing posts from July, 2011

What pain really feels like

I thought I knew what pain was. I remember how nervous I was the morning we went to Vanderbilt to have Christian. I was so scared because I knew what could happen. I knew what the doctors had said. I knew that it was going to be hard. When Christian was born at 9:32am, I was so happy. I was scared, but relieved that he was OK. At 4 o'clock that afternoon I was finally able to make the 1/3 mile trek to see him in the NICU. When I saw him for the first time, I knew immediately that he was blind, although I wouldn't admit it for weeks. The first time I had ever laid eyes on my baby boy besides in the OR, and all I could see was that he was blind. And then, the pain grew. I would go to Wal-Mart, proud mama I was, with my baby in tow. And naive little me learned a hard lesson. As I would get groceries, I would notice people walking by my buggy and slowing down for a second. I was happy to show off my beautiful baby until I realized that these admirers were not smiling and cooing a