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My Experiences with Bullying


For anyone who follows us on Facebook, you have probably, at one time or another, seen someone make a rude or hateful comment on a photo I've posted of Christian. It has been happening pretty much since he was born. In fact, much of the reason that I decided to make the video that went viral was because of all the negative comments that we would receive, whether through social media or face to face when we were out in public with Christian. And I have to say, I am tired of it. I sometimes find myself unable to deal with a hateful comment on a particular day, or exhausted with the idea of checking my email and finding another rude comment left on my YouTube Channel. So this blog is my outlet to vent my frustrations and share my wisdom on the matter. I consider myself a professional at handling bullying, after all, considering all the bullying I've dealt with over the last few years.

At first, the comments hurt. I remember the day that I first took Christian out in in public, to the grocery store, and many of you have heard me talk about that experience before. I've spoken about it multiple times in interviews. The part about that day that I remember the most vividly was the feeling in the pit of my stomach that those comments left, and the tears that I couldn't hold back as I put Christian in the car and drove home. I remember getting Christian home, wrapping him in a blanket, and cuddling him up close to me, and telling him that those people were wrong. I told him how beautiful he was, and how he was the most perfect thing I had ever laid eyes on. He was only 2 or 3 months old then. He had no idea what those people had said. Heck, he still doesn't understand things like that. He also had no idea what I was telling him. But I said those words to him, I guess, maybe as my way of responding to the hurt. I could not comprehend, and still don't,why someone who had no idea who we were felt compelled to say hurtful things about an innocent child. What could their purpose be except to hurt us? What motive could they have except hate?

I didn't tell anyone about that day for a long time, especially my husband and my family. In fact, I'm not sure they had ever heard that story until the video went viral last May. I decided that the pain of knowing what those people had said was just another burden that I didn't want them to have. We were all already so heartbroken over the last few months, with finding out Christian was blind at birth, our 4 miserable weeks in the NICU, one surgery already taken place and another scheduled for just a few weeks from then, and the struggles we had in taking him home and trying to figure out how to care for him. I didn't want to add yet another weight to my family's already broken spirits.

So I went on dealing with these comments by myself as best I could. I even did experiments. I tried different methods of reacting to the comments to see which reaction would have the most positive affect. I tried getting upset, being rude, explaining myself, questioning them, ignoring them, you name it. Occasionally the scenario would play out in a good way, and leave me feeling a little better, but that wasn't usually the case. Usually, no matter what I said, the conversation was awkward, I was clumsy, and I left with that familiar pit in my stomach.

After the video went viral, because we were in the public eye, the rude comments became more frequent, and more vulgar. Not that the rude comments were the dominating factor, because they weren't. The majority of the comments we received were so loving and heartfelt that many of them brought me to tears. But the rude ones still stung none the less.

At one point, on my YouTube Channel, I had a group of individuals who apparently banded together to attack me. Four or five people spent one entire day leaving comment after comment, unprovoked, with no replies from me or anyone else. The comments ranged from things I couldn't understand such as an apparent reference to their so called "group," to stating that they planned to "rape that baby in his eye sockets." There were dozens of comments in between that included references to masturbating to photos of Christian, threats to murder him and rape me if we were found, and you get the idea. Comments like these didn't leave that pit in my stomach. They were obviously comments made by people who were sick and unstable. They did, however, terrify me. I took screen shots of all the comments and filed a complaint with the FBI's Cyber Crimes Unit. I got an e-mail almost immediately informing me that they had received my complaint and were looking into it, and a phone call a few days later from my local FBI, getting all the information they could collect. The officer that had our case finally concluded that the people who made those threats were not in the United States, and therefore the FBI wasn't going to go any further at that time due to a lack of threat of danger, but that if anything else presented itself, they would take appropriate action.

Although I've not received any comments to that extreme since that instance, I have received plenty that were just vile and full of hate. I've had people tell me that I should be ashamed for exploiting Christian, ashamed for letting him live such a miserable life, ashamed for posting his photos on Facebook and expecting not to get rude comments. I've had people tell me that my "kid is a walking abortion." I've had people post hate comments on my photos and insist that they won't stop until I block them. I've had people who get mad at me because they saw a photo I posted. They tell me that they didn't want to see it and it's my fault. Even when I explain to them that I didn't post the photo on their Facebook page, and that they must have seen it because one of their friends liked or commented, they still curse at me until I block them. My favorite new term has to be "kill it with fire" which is apparently a "common phrase" nowadays, used by people my age and even younger as a bullying tactic. When I was younger, bullying consisted of "fart face" and if you really didn't like someone, "retard." It's a sad commentary on our society when threats to kill someone are just common place and overlooked as if the person had been called a "fart face."

Two nights ago, I saw a guy posting comments on a photo of mine, saying how dare I photoshop photos of my kid to get pity. I sent him a friend request and a generic message, hoping to just get the opportunity to chat and "win him over" so to speak. I found out he lived about an hour from me, so I started with small talk about that. I didn't mention his rude comments at all or Christian. His response was to call me a sick person and to leave him "the hell alone." I replied saying that I noticed that he had lived closed by and just wanted to say hi, along with an apology for bothering him. He replied again calling me evil. I explained that he was welcome to Google about Christian's birth defect and see that it was a real condition, but again apologized for having bothered him. He kept messaging me about photoshopping photos of Christian until I finally just had to block him to stop the messages. Lesson learned there for sure! I probably won't attempt to make friends with people who make rude comments anymore, not because I don't want to; but that definitely taught me that some people just don't want to understand.


I am not naive. I have come to realize that as long as Christian is seen in social media, there will be rude comments and hateful people who can't be "won over" so to speak. I have also come to realize that I can't stop it. All I can do is control how I react. God has done a MAJOR (I'm not even sure that word is adequate) work in my life in the last 2 years on forgiveness. True forgiveness, the kind where I can think of those people who said that they wanted to rape Christian and not wish harm to them. The kind where I can see a rude comment that was just posted, and although my blood immediately starts boiling and my heart starts pounding, and I want to lash out at them, I can muster up enough of myself to say something respectful. I have learned that God doesn't expect me to only show respect to people who deserve, or to be kind only to people who are kind to me.  Don't get me wrong, it's not easy! I don't just breeze through those comments and smile and feel good about saying something polite to someone who just said "WTF is that thing?!" about a photo of Christian. It doesn't feel good at all, for the moment. But later, when I have calmed down, and I think about, I am always glad when I do react positively. And when I fail to act respectfully, and do lose my cool with someone, I always regret it later. When people bully, the point is to hurt you, knock you down, and make you feel worthless. Surely they don't expect you to just agree with them! When I react negatively and lose my cool, they have accomplished their purpose, they have won, and I feel knocked down. When I stay calm and react to that hate in a way that I know I should, I have peace about it, I don't feel defeated, and the bully has not done what they set out to do which is hurt me. So really, when you think about it, what good does retaliation do anyways? It is simply giving the bully what they are seeking. Is getting the "last word" or calling the worst name really winning?

What God has taught me, most importantly, is that one day, Christian WILL know what those people are saying about him, he WILL hear rude comments while he's out in public, and I cannot protect him from that, but I am not powerless. I can teach Christian how to handle those moments, just as I have had to handle them for the last 2 years. I can show him that getting upset won't make it better or make it stop. I can show him that what those people say has no affect on his value and self worth, and does not diminish who God has created him to be, and all the good his life has brought into this world.


So, why have I spent the last 9 paragraphs on how Christian and I have been bullied and how we react to it, when you probably figured that this post was going to be about all those people who need to stop bullying? It's because I'm convinced that bullying will never stop on a large scale, because bullying doesn't happen on a large scale. Bullying is an individual choosing to act in ignorance, using misguided or skewed information, to distort the truth in an attempt to judge, belittle, or provoke another individual. We have all witnessed it, and if we're honest, we have all probably participated in it at one time or another. We know well what it is, but the solution still eludes us.

The solution to bullying lies within each one of us, and  in my opinion, parents hold the predominate key to putting a stop to bullying altogether. When we raise our kids to know that saying mean things to or about others, even if we think they deserve it, is NOT ok, we are part of the solution. When we teach our kids to be slow to anger, and to control their emotions and use self restraint, we are part of the solution. When we use that restraint and self control ourselves, and be a living example, we are part of the solution. When we make sure that our children are included in the lives of others who are not like them, and show them how to respect those people for who they are, we are part of the solution. When we speak up when we see bullying take place, and don't just turn a blind eye, we are part of the solution.  When we stop using Facebook as an outlet to say things that we would never say to someone face to face, when we learn to live the Golden Rule, when realize that it's not all about me, when we open our hearts and minds to accept the fact that not everyone is going to believe what we believe or agree with everything we say and that it's OK, we are the solution. The solution really all boils down to one simple word: LOVE. When we choose to love others, not because they have done anything to deserve it or earn it, and not because we "have to," but because we want to be the solution, the world will change, one person at a time. Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best "I have decided to stick with love, for hate is too big a burden to bear."
All I have to say, is how can you NOT love this face? It melts my heart every time!




Comments

  1. You know that old expression, 'Haters gonna hate.'. And, there will always be good and evil. How blessed ya'll are to know that someday ya'll will be kicked back on the porches of your mansions in Heaven while the ones that perpetuate evil will forever burn in a very real Hell. Rock on, child of God! (Kimmy Moore)

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  2. My personal opinion is that hate is such a wasted emotion. All power to you Lacey for being a voice, not only for your beautiful and much loved son, but for other kids with disabilities who don't have one and worse, don't have someone to love them. God bless you and yours Lacey xxoo

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  3. Lacey, as I read this blog entry, all I can do is cry. Not because I feel sorry for C, but I feel sorry for those who can't see how wonderful he is and knowing they have to be lost from our savior. Christian is honestly a huge blessing in my life. I have four children of my own, and I have shared his pictures and stories with them. I had the questions of what was wrong with him but even they see his beauty because anytime I show them a new picture or video, the awwws start coming out of their mouths :) I feel Christian is God's way of showing us that a person doesn't have to fit into any one mold to be beautiful. Beauty is all I can see when I look at that little boy. Lacey, you and your husband keep doing what you do. God has a wonderful and divine purpose for C, and I feel blessed to be a part of watching it unfold. One day I hope to be able to give that little guy squeeze and for my kids to get to meet him!

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  4. Lacey,
    You are a very smart girl! We need more ppl like you in the world. I heard about you and your lil man like thousands of others have and your story TRUELY touches my heart. Christian is an amazing lil cutie. And Im so so sorry for the hate and extremely terrifying comments you have endured. It scares me to my core for my own children growing up in a world like this. I will keep u and your family in my prayers. And congrats on the new baby boy u r expecting!! Christian will be the best big brother ever! *carrie*

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  5. I'm sorry people are so cruel and hateful, downright evil. He is beautiful and I have the utmost respect for you, mom to mom. God Bless!

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  6. This has got to be one of the sweetest and most insightful things I have ever read. Christian is a blessing to all who read about him in the spirit in which you share him. Anyone who could look at that precious face and not smile at the wonder he has become should do some real soul searching. Thank you for continuing to share pics, stories and videos for those of us who have grown to love Christian and your family from afar! Wishing you continued blessings this new year!

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  7. Hey people! I have much love for my little dude! Consider me his not so secret stalker, lol. I look at C, with a mother's heart and love him. The good that shines through, and the joy I see in his precious little face has made me smile on some of my worst days! As hard as it is, you embrace your enemy as a friend, because that is all we can do! God gave us salvation and mercy, we can do no less as his children! Much love to you and your family!

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  8. I just came upon your Facebook page this morning & of course, I watched your video which brought me to tears. I've never written a post to a blog or even followed one before but I can't get you & your family out of my head. Even though I don't know you, I think the world of you. Christian is a beautiful child & my heart goes out to him. I truly admire you! I saw some of your pictures on Facebook & the unconditional love & unbreakable bond you have with Christian melts my heart. It's sad that there are so many selfish & ignorant people in this world. All I can say is they'll get theirs, God sees everything. As a mother of two, (my son is 13, my daughter is almost 11 months old) there is nothing I wouldn't do for my children & I see that in you as well. Christian may face many hardships but it is the love from his family & friends that will keep him going. I think you & your husband are amazing & you did make the right choice! I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers :)

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  9. Your precious boy has a rare gift - he will be better able to discern between beauty and ugliness, because instead of the superficial, he will see what is on the inside, right upfront. And being raised by such a strong, God-following mama, he will always know beauty when he sees it! Prayers for you and C as you journey toward that time when he is aware. Much love - from me, and C's birthday-buddy Zack!

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  10. He is a beautiful boy and god made him just that way hes special and unique. Hes touched our lives on manyways i cant even bear to understand as a mother how you feel hearing those comments...your a much better person than me cause ida beat someone and went to jail but that wouldnt solve anything...take it with a grain of salt somepeople feel the need for comments like that be cause they are more afraid than anything...karma will come around and only one man will judge christian and the ones casting hate upon him...you will be rewarded for your courage and forgivness! Your doing a fantastic job lacey and you have support from one end of the world to the next! We love yall here in my home in tennessee!!! God will never give you too much to handle and always remember this a teachers always quiet during a test.....god will show you the way!

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  11. Lacey,

    For such a young woman, you have incredible wisdom.

    People say hateful things because they hate themselves. Every terrible thing they say about your sweet and beautiful son, is their own self loathing coming out. They do these things to provoke a reaction. Indeed you cannot stop that, although I do suggest using no hesitation in blocking people.

    You are absolutely right that bullying is an action of individuals which is why there will never be a societal solution to it.

    The only way to combat hate is through love. You just keep doing what you are doing. You keep modelling love, respect and acceptance for your boy. If you react, if you focus on the haters, they win. Just keep focusing on your son, on his gifts and on giving him as much love as you can.

    By the way, when I was reading this, my autistic daughter, saw Christian's photos, asked about him and I explained that he didn't have eyes. She didn't skip a beat and said, "but look at how beautiful his smile is." If you are changing even one person's mind on defining how beauty is measured, you are accomplishing so much. There are people out there who will love and accept. Just keep reaching out.

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  12. You (and the poster above me) are kinder people than I. I have been known to say to someone in public, who has made a nasty comment about my (severely autistic) disabled child: "Wow, you just insulted a disabled child! You must be very proud of yourself!"

    Happy New Year to you and yours!

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  13. LOVE YOU LACEY AND CHRISTIAN!!!! You are such an inspiration to the world, remember all of the positives and attenuate them. We the people who support you guys surely outway the negative people. I agree bullying comes down to parenting, and if all parents could show as much love for their children as you do for Christian, this world would be a much different world. God bless and Best Wishes, Faithfully following you guys always and forever, Aubrey

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  14. Lacey, I believe we are all here for a reason and purpose. You have brought so much to light with your video. Those haters should be ashamed of themselves. Most havnt enough common sence to understand a better place let alone to be better people. There is an inner light to you and Christian. You shine bright with love and share this love with the rest of us. May God continue to Bless you , Christian and the rest of your beautiful family Lacey.

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  15. I am so sorry for the hateful comments that people are saying. I have no idea how anyone could say such things about a child! He is beautiful, and you are a wonderful Mommy to love him so much, and want people to be more aware of how hurtful they are being. My prayers are with you and your lovely family!

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  16. Christian is A Gift from God ~ His Smile is Contagious :)'s Hugs & Love ♥

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    Replies
    1. When my niece, who is registered as blind had an adverse comment made abot her in public a couple of years ago my mother in law deflected the issue by trying to pretend it never happened. I wasn't their at the time but when I heard this I felt she was wrong to pretend like this. Chrisitna will, as you say, get adverse comments from the bullies, the ignorant and the downright stupid for the rest of his life, and the best thing you can do for him is teach him how to deal with it. You're foign a fine job the sensible way. Happy New Year to all your family,including the Bump

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    2. Excuse the spelling mistakes. Late night last night....

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  17. Every single time I read your blog I think "Wow, that woman is STRONG." A walking abortion? How could anyone actually say that about a child? And NO ONE knows what Christian's life is going to be - doctors can guess and predict, but no one actually knows. Look at him SMILE! He's happy and loved and amazing. I'm so sorry about the bullying.

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  18. Lacey ,wow ...you are just such a beautiful strong angelic person inside and out. You are here for some reason...and I can tell you I have learned a lot from reading your blog. You helped me grow today and learn some amazing life lessons. I am so thankful for you and that God has guided me to know you. You and Christian are amazing and have many friends and so many who love you so much. I especially learned something from these words of yours...."When I react negatively and lose my cool, they have accomplished their purpose, they have won, and I feel knocked down. When I stay calm and react to that hate in a way that I know I should, I have peace about it, I don't feel defeated, and the bully has not done what they set out to do which is hurt me. So really, when you think about it, what good does retaliation do anyways? It is simply giving the bully what they are seeking. Is getting the "last word" or calling the worst name really winning?" Lacey...I can never thank you enough for the lesson in love you have taught me today. Thank you and may God bless you and your beautiful little son always.

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  19. That was incredibly moving and inspired. Thank you for continuing to share your journey and your sweet beautiful boy with us.

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  20. I would love to follow you on Facebook I am Patricia Wheatley
    Thanks!

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  21. Good will triumph over evil.Until that day, we pray that good outweighs the evil, as it seems to when it comes to the fact that you (seemingly)get more good than bad comments.Here's mine to add to the tally!

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  22. I remain without words reading your story. I do not understand people that would give you bad comments. They must be people with litle understanding and be a bit short really.Your son is fantastic. I pray for your protection and for Christians. Thank you for being a warm voice in our cold world. Love from Norway
    my blog is: marianneleonora.blogspot.no

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  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  24. I saw that photoshop comment and I was appalled. You are such a good person that you actually tried to be nice to that photoshop bully. You amaze me at how awesome you are.

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  25. I believe it's true that bullies lash out because they really do hate themselves. I know, in a much smaller arena, when I feel negativity about myself, I express it in ways i shouldn't. Heck, I'm 52, and that still happens.

    However, that doesn't solve the problem does it?

    The whole time I read this post, I thought of Christ on the cross asking God to forgive the people who were murdering him because they did not know what they were doing.

    Forgiveness always goes to those who don't deserve it.

    Listen to me, I'm so angry and sad for what you've had to go through, but I am working to lean on faith. It should be my first reaction, but it's not.

    Love from Illinois,
    ellie

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  26. Reading this brought me to tears. Christian is such an amazing little boy, and I enjoy seeing his pictures and reading updates.
    It is really sad that people cannot see the beauty in the world and they have to be so quick to judge. You and your family are amazing and are so very blessed. Thank you for being such an inspiration!

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  27. Lacey, I've just had the chance to read this post. You are exactly right, Christ asks us to forgive. But forgiveness doesn't take away the hurt and good parents always try to protect their child. "God don't make no junk!" Christian was created to be who he is. There is no telling what God has planned for him and what he will accomplish in this life. You and your husband will raise him well and he will be a loving, caring child who will bring much joy to others. Remember who you are and remember that God loves and cares for your family. You may never know who you touch and how God will use you. May this coming year bring you and your husband closer together and closer to God. Christian will be a great big brother! Hugs.

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  28. This blog is very helpful for all student who read online. And want Accounts Assignment Help.Thanks for you all students help. And keep continue to helpful post.

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  29. When I read your story, the verse that immediately popped into my head was Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE." I believe Christian has a wonderful future; and having strong, Godly parents and people to support him will certainly help him in all his years. This won't always protect him against hurt and pain, and God certainly does not cause this pain and suffering. But He does promise that there we will be rewarded if we are faithful and follow Him!

    I have already been blessed immensely by your family and your faithful attitude. God certainly is working through you all! And congratulations on your new addition!

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  30. I wanted to share the following link with you.

    http://deeperstory.com/weep-the-word-beautiful/

    I thought as parent of a child with disabilities you would appreciate it.

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  31. "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:14 let's still thank God for every situation we face, we don't even know what happened in your baby but surely God will use him to bring Him Glory as the time planned for him. Smile and appreciate little things in your life =) God bless!

    Calvaryoakville

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  32. Dear Lacey, every time I read this post, I am amazed and I admire you so much! The first part brought tears to my eyes and I felt like a punch in my stomach. I love Christian and his most heart melting smile in the world, so I will never understand how people could be so mean to you and Christian and I feel protective over you! I can only pray for their hearts to be unlocked one day and to be transformed by love.
    But your wisdom and your message as you come to your conclusions over bullying are so inspirational! You are so right: bullying unfortunately exist but we as parents and individuals can do our part to fight it and we can teach our children how to handle it. Thank you so much! <3

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  33. I truly admire your strength, resolve, and ability to let God lead you when dealing with the ugliness of people hiding behind a computer screen. I am so sorry that you and Christian have to deal with any of it and am saddened that there is so much anger and hate out there. Christian was wonderfully made by a loving God, for a purpose only He knows. Know that many of us stand by you. Much love

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  34. It's sad but true that there are such evil and ignorant people out there. You have a beautiful baby boy and I personally commend you on letting him have a life, I lost 2 babies to miscarriage and was blessed with 2 beautiful girls, had there been ánything wrong with any I would have NEVER even thought about abortion, as long as they had a breath it didn't matter if I had to work harder as a parent to take care of a special needs child. Abortion to me is and always will be murder to me, people know what causes pregnancy yet they continue to have unprotected sex, children are going to be born different, everyone can't all be the same, they need to wake up and realize that these babies don't ask for life, it is given and should not be taken away for any reason. You stay strong and know there are many mothers out here that stand behind you!

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  35. i saw your video on facebook and your face light up with love for your boy. It made me smile and warm inside. He is a lovely boy and he has a smile that can melt ice. parenting is never easy, you dont know what you will get and what the future will hold. But the love you give him and the love he will give you in return are a force stronger than any other. You have a long life in front of you and Christian will give you both good times and bad times but i bet that he will forever be all for you

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  36. Hi Lacey! I have seen your video on facebook 3 days ago and I must admit, I cried a river of tears. It reminded of my spn who had heart surgery when he was 2 months old (he will be 7 months soon). You and Christian are truly amazing and inspirational. I am glad that you have chosen life for Christian. Christian was born to this world with a purpose, he is God's miracle on earth. And God has chosen the perfect mother who will love and care for him unconditionally. I know there are nasty and people out there but always remember that there are a lot more who truly care and see Christian a beautiful child. You will always be included in my prayers. May the good Lord keep You and Christian, and your whole family healthy and safe always. Sending much love....

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  37. I feel sad for all the horrible things people will/do say about Christian, but in my opinion, he has such a strong foundation of love in his family that love God... I just think he's sure lucky! All those ugly hearted people grew up without that love, and that makes me sad for them. (I feel sad for them after I think some ugly thoughts about them first, but Thank God I'm saved by Grace!)

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  38. HE IS STILL PRECIOUS AND WONDERFULL WHO CARES WHAT ANYONE THINKS

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  39. You are exactly right...it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about Christian! He is A beautiful baby boy and every time I see his little face and his precious smile, it just melts my heart. He is sooooo "PRECIOUS" and to be able to meet Christian and your family one day would be an honor to me and mine. Don't ever stop being an Amazing Mother and Father, cause you guys are doing a wonderful job, and Christian will always be that brave little warrior, Super Man...Christian has inspired me so much and will always have a place in my heart! Ever since the first time I saw him on fb, he marked a special spot on my heart that will be there FOREVER!! We Love You Christian, And May God Keep Blessing You More And More Each And Every Day Of Your Sweet Life Baby Boy!! Lots of hugs and kisses sent your way!

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  40. I look at your son and see the smile. Yes, I see the issues, but he is so CLEARLY not "suffering." I'm a speech pathologist and I've worked with numerous children with physical issues, often due to genetic abnormalities. None of them were "suffering" either.
    But Lacey, I am going to make one recommendation. Don't post your address on the Internet under any circumstances anymore. There ARE crazy, horrible people out there, and our society has taken "back fence gossip" to a whole new level. People OBSESS about the most unlikely things now. Even people who seem friendly...if one of them becomes obsessed, that could be unsafe. That foreign group...when I read that....I'm a tough New Yorker and I almost got sick.

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