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To Parents of Special Needs Children, This is For You

To all the parents out there who have children with disabilities or special needs, who endure stares and whispers, and ugly comments, who can't post pictures of their child on Facebook without strangers making rude comments about a child who lives every day with struggles that most people couldn't imagine and couldn't handle. This is for you.

 To anyone out there who feels the need to make an ugly comment, stare, point, or whisper because someone happens to look different than you or your children, or what you deem to be "normal":

You are blessed with a child that doesn't have special needs, with a child that doesn't have a disability, with a child that hasn't had to battle a life threatening disease. Not everyone gets that blessing. You should be down on your hands and knees thanking God that your child isn't blind. You should be down on your hands and knees thanking God that your child can breathe without the help of a vent. You should be down on your hands and knees thanking God that your child can hear without the help of Cochlear implants. You should be down on your hands and knees thanking God that your child doesn't know what it's like to have chemotherapy medication running through their veins.You should be down on your hands and knees thanking God that you get to watch your child take his first steps, and run and play, that he doesn't need a walker or a wheelchair to get around. You should be down on your hands and knees thanking God that your child has never had to have surgery, that you don't know what's it's like to sit in a hospital room and watch your child fight for his life, struggle with pain, struggle with things that some adults have never had to deal with. You should be down on your hands and knees thanking God that you're healthy, that you never had to endure these struggles yourself, let alone your children.

But yet, you can't find the time to do that because you're too busy making fun of a child who's endured more in two years than you've ever had to endure in your whole life. And let me tell you something, if that's you, your soul is black. Your soul is dark. And you need to find Jesus, and you need to get down on your hands and knees and thank Him that you were blessed with a healthy body and healthy children, because not all of us get that lucky.

Before you ever opened your mouth to make a rude comment, that parent already knew her child was different. She didn't need you to tell her. That parent already knew that her child's birth defect was visibly noticeable before you pointed it out. That parent already knew that there would be people like you who open their mouth and react before they take the time to think about what they say and how it might impact others. That parent knew, long before they ever knew who you were, that there would be people like you who don't want to know the truth, the whole story, who just want to use their words to hurt and tear others down. But let me tell you something, you should be the one being stared at, because normal people don't go around trying to destroy others.

Now that doesn't mean special needs parents are not blessed. We just get blessed in different, and usually BIGGER, ways. Let me tell you something, if I could go back, knowing what I know now, knowing the struggles we would face, I wouldn't change a single thing. I would never change who my son is and who he is becoming, because despite what you might think, and despite what you see, HE IS AMAZING.

So next time that you want to open your mouth and say something rude or hurtful about my child, why don't you drop down on your knees and thank God instead that your children haven't had to go through what mine has.


  1. I've always thought Christian was a beautiful little boy. Yes he has obstacles, but he is doing great with what God has given him. You seem like a very strong woman. Don't listen to the people that don't want to understand. You keep doing a great job at being that blessings mommy!

  2. You tell them girl!! My son has been through alot and although you have kids with visual defects and my son may not, peoples words hurt

  3. Very true Lacey! Christian is a blessing and I am glad to hear how well he is doing every time you post on here and Facebook. I know how much of a blessing he is to you and my daughter is to me. I was only 24 weeks along when I had my daughter and she has had surgeries and more things done to her than many adults have or will ever have done to them. Our children are blessings. The people who come in contact with them should know and understand that they are being blessed by wonderful human beings who cherish life and don't take things for granted.
    Hope you and your family have a wonderful blessed day!

  4. Your an amazing mother, woman and just person in general. My daughter has struggled through two series of chemo for kidney cancer and people always had to comment that she had to hair. You are so blessed and watching your story, Christian was meant to be yours! Keep doing what your doing because that baby is getting the best life because of you! <3

  5. Thank you for this! My son has craniosynostosis, and had surgery at 4 months. His deformity wasn't super noticeable, and he got it fixed....but he was VERY swollen for awhile and had lumps and bumps on his head, along with a scar that goes along the entirety of his skull. Now that he is older, he looks normal...but we had to endure some stares for a while after surgery, and it's hard. I have no idea how you can endure such rude and hurtful people all of the time. My prayers are with you, your family and your BEAUTIFUL little boy!

  6. i'm wondering if you are in my head today? i just went to battle with a busy body woman in the grocery store on monday. she felt the need to tell me how immature i am for playing along with my son who has down syndrome. i usually ignore snide comments, but she really pushed my button that day. it took all i had not to react, and i mean react badly. one of the clerks told me she wasn't worth the jail time, lol. my love to you and your family from one blessed family to another. xoxo

  7. I'm so sorry Lacey, that you have had to endure such vile comments from ignorant people. Christian is amazing and beautiful and that's all that matters. As a mother I can understand the hurt and anger you feel, and even though it seems impossible, rise above and pray for them. You have a far better treasure in your son than they can grasp.

  8. Lacey, you deserve so much credit for the way in which you have found blessings and joy in your situation. Those who don't have the utmost compassion for you or for Christian and cannot see his beautiful gifts are not worth your time.

    Often it is not until we are challenged that we truly understand what blessings are and although it doesn't always seem that way, those who are compassion and can see Christian's special gifts way, way, way outnumber those that can't. And you know what? It's their loss.

    Keep your chin up! All the best to you and your beautiful boy.

  9. Lacey, isn't it funny how much one hurtful comment can stick with you so much? You have thousands of people that follow your story and wish your family the best! The VERY best. Christian is going to be an awesome big brother because of the love you both give him. Now soak up the love, smile and nod at the rude comments and know they probably have something in their life that brought them to that place and can't find the thing to bring them up and be better. xxxooo to all of you! (p.s. keep posting those smiley pics! I love to see the joy)

  10. You obviously named your son Christian because of a belief in Christ. Jesus was also rejected by society, to the point of being the pascal lamb who was slaughtered as a sacrifice for our sins. Know that while some in society may reject your son and you, you are in the greatest company. Also, take comfort in the fact that your story has been an inspiration to many, and it gives me the strength to carry my crosses in life. Keep up the protective mama bear persona, but don't let the short-sighted society anger you too much. Forgive them, they know not what they do.

    1. Beautifully stated, Brian!
      Lacey - I agree completely with Brian - Christian is a beautiful gift from God, thank you for sharing his "contagious" smile with us!! xoxo

    2. Can't say it any better than that!

  11. Those that feel they need to rude, hateful or critical of you are just insecure of themselves. It somehow makes them feel better to act like that. They are to be pitied and ignored. Remember, man looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart.

  12. The last sentence in my comment comes from 1 Samuel 16:7.

  13. This is both beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. I do not know what is like to be in your shoes, but it hurts me to know that people stoop so low as to say hurtful things towards you or your beautiful child ... and this goes to any parent with a special needs child. I cannot understand how anyone can say anything hateful towards a defenseless person, towards someone who isn't quite the same as them. It is wrong and it needs to stop.

  14. Sooooo well said!!! My daughter is blind and was born without eyes. I get so tired of the comments and stares. I really appreciate everything you said here. I hope some of those people read this post. God bless you and your beautiful little boy.

  15. Chris & Lacey,
    You are both the most amazing parents that I have ever seen. I love the pages about Christian and am so happy you chose life for him. Every time I see his face, I smile. I smile because of he knows of the unconditional love of his dad & mom.

    You are correct, in that people shouldn't be rude or make comments about him. Instead they should be praying for Christians well-being and the joy of your family. No one will ever understand your struggles, yet through your smiles and love. We get to share him with you.

    Hugs and Great job, Momma Bear!

  16. People who do that are not happy with who they are, and thus feel the need to bash others, just to make themselfs feel better.
    Lacey, you rock and Christian is a very handsom young boy and he is going to do great things in life.
    Stay strong, and know the we have your back!

  17. I am so sad that there was a need for you to write this blog. It hurts my heart that someone was rude about the beautiful miracle that you are blessed with. Common sense isn't too common.

  18. i think your story is incredible..i remember the first time i saw the video you did on godvine i was crying and so touched..i have two beautiful healthy amazing girls, and we have had struggles and hospital issues and complications that were semi minor and i just cant imagine what you have went through...people are just cruel and they will continue to be that way, but you telling your story and letting everyone know how amazing that awesome little boy is is the best reaction you could have..your an amazing mom and shame on the people that say those things..there are many black hearts out there and im so thankful that God made sure Christian got a home where He knew the people in it would love Him endlessly...that i am most thankful for:) we dont get to choose our parents, but we as parents need to choose to love and defend our sweet ones...God bless you Lacey and your son and family!!:)

  19. My heart is with you. My wife and I are the parents of three special kids. My sons have dyspraxia and apraxia of speech (possibly somewhere on the autism spectrum). Our little girl was born with Down Syndrome last May. The snide comments have come from members of our OWN FAMILY! Two days ago my ignorant brother-in-law told us we were in the wrong political party because in his opinion it was against our own self interest. I informed him that the political party he thinks we should be in would have rather us do pre-natal testing and abort our daughter. He is a fool who believes the lie that somehow that party is more empathetic toward people with special needs, when the fact is they want to kill them in the womb. I am sorry you have had to go through this with people. Your son Christian will show us all what overcoming obstacles really is about. So will my children. God bless you all.

  20. Lacey I have been following your story since you first posted your video. I've been so very proud of you and of Christian. I can really relate to your frustration. My 7 year old daughter is severely disabled and I've been through the ranting and raving. Something I've learned is to just get down on my hands and knees MYSELF and thank God. I thank him for choosing US to raise the most spectacular little girl I've ever met. I thank him for teaching me patience and kindness and empathy and how to just giggle when the rest of the world makes no sense. I thank him for opening our eyes to be fortunate of every positive aspect of our girl and never take anything for granted.
    I feel truly sorry for people with "normal" kids.
    When I get the looks of pity, the stares and the "sighs" I look back at them and feel sorry for them for they will never know what they have all missed out on.
    Our kids are survivors. Any 4 year old that can put in a full day of OT PT Speech etc and still come home to play is a trooper and as long as we continue to support our kids no ignorant bully will defeat them.
    God Bless you guys. Don't spend too much time letting the bad ones get you down. In the end, we have all been blessed beyond belief and they are all still waiting to see the light ;)

  21. GOD has TRULY BLESSED YOU & YOUR FAMILY!!!! Christian is a VERY SPECIAL & LUCKY little boy to have TWO VERY LOVING PARENTS & a PRECIOUS BABY BROTHER on the way!! I THANK GOD every day for BLESSING me with joy of being able to read your posts and share in the journey of your family and your TRULY AMAZING SON!!!! THANK YOU & GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!! xxx000

  22. I think families with special needs kids, we need them more then they need those that don't know what it is to have a disability. Christian is going to do great things , people are going to learn great things from him and others like him.
    I grew up disabled, I was born deaf in one ear and not perfect hearing in the other. I wasn't accepted into any popular groups, cause I was different, I spoke loud and because I could not hear everything said would interrupt when someone was talking thinking they had finished. I grew up reading lips although I didn't know I was doing it, isn't gods gift of over coming obstacles great, when eye sight, hearing or other disabilities are something someone is born with . Then other senses take over on their own. I never missed what I wasn't born with, I just new I didn't fit in for some reason, so early on in life I made kids that were pushed aside feel like they were important and I made friends with them. I would not change who I am, because I am stronger for it and more acceptable of others with disabilities. I hope that reading Christians story and others that people in this world will is not us who are disabled it is the rest of the world cause they cant accept that not everyone is born the same. God Bless all the little children and people with special needs for they are born with a gift so precious.
    God Bless Everyone

  23. I don't have children with disabilities, but I DO! I was born 3 months early and have Cerebral Palsy, Inflammatory Arthritis, not to mention a whole in the left side of my brain. . .growing up, I didn't have all the advocacy that Christian does (I did have my parents, but we are talking 30 plus years ago), but I understand the stares, the lears, the whispers and everything. Still get it to this day even though I have married and birthed 2 kids with a body they said never should have, gotten a BS in Social Work. . so I guess the thing you need to remember, Lacey, is that no matter what "YOU and his dad always want what's best for him and NEVER give up om him even when he thinks he wants to give up on himself." And, it's only what God thinks that matters in the end!

  24. Lacey, I'm mad as a march hare right now! You pay no mind to ignorant people. Their self esteem is too low, they have to down grade others to make themselves feel better. My son has Down Syndrome and I get snarky comments all the time from people in the store. I just tell them not everyone gets blessed with such a rare gem.

    If you ever need to talk my Facebook inbox is always open. P.S your son is fantastic and will grow to be something great. Don't EVER forget that.

  25. Some children have disabilities that can't be seen, and it's just as wrong to be mean to them. People who are mean to anyone are just plain sick and wrong. Jesus doesn't ask very much of us, but He does tell us to love one another. We as a society need to stand up to people and tell them, in a firm but polite way, that their bullying is not acceptable. Thank you for your online friendship to all of us, and thank you for helping our society grow emotionally and spiritually. May God bless you and yours... You are a blessing to all of us.

  26. :'o)

    "Amen" doesn't quite cover it.

    Thank you.

  27. Heaven's Very Special Child

    A meeting was held quite far from Earth.
    It was time again for another birth.
    Said the angels to the Lord above--
    "This special child will need much love.
    His progress may be very slow,
    Accomplishment he may not show.
    And he'll require extra care,
    From the folks he meets down there.
    He may not run or laugh or play,
    His thoughts may seem far away.
    So many times he will be labeled:
    'Different, Helpless, and Disabled'
    So, let's be careful where he's sent,
    We want his life to be content.
    Please, Lord, find the parents and siblings who,
    Will do a special job for you.
    They will not realize right away,
    The leading role they are asked to play.
    But with this child sent from above,
    Comes stronger faith, and richer love.
    And soon they'll know the privilege given,
    In caring for their gift from heaven.
    Their precious charge, so meek and mild,
    Is Heaven's very special child."

    author unknown

    God's continued blessings to you and your family.

  28. Shame on them! They must be soulless, because I don't know why any normal person would say something mean about your sweet little boy.


    Lacey, your story and Christian´s angelical ways have reached so many, even here.

    What goes around, comes around. People shall reap what they saw.

    Christian has touched SO MANY LIVES IN JUST TWO YEARS!
    God had the most beautiful purpose in mind when he gave him to you. I will always ALWAYS HAVE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN MY HEART.


  30. Lacey,
    I have to admit when I first saw Christian my heart bled and I wondered how that little boy was able to cope. I realize now that he is able to cope through the grace of God, his loving parents and his amazing backup crew of loving strangers who are amazed by this child. Keep doing what you do and ignore those people for they really only have to answer to one person in the end. Pray for them. We are all praying for Christian and your family.

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  32. Thank you Lacey for your testimony. Your martyrdom of witness is an inspiration to us all, even to those who accuse you for making the right choice. This is because your courage challenges them and exposes their hypocrisy. No doubt these people will claim to respect the "right of women to choose".
    I praise God for the gift of strength which He gave you, and which has enabled you to resist the culture of death and the pressure from supporters of child-killing. May God bless you abundantly and reward you with eternal life. - Aline

  33. From time to time you'll feel that some support and recommendation would be helpful, thus Action encompasses a team of coordinators UN agency supply steering to tykes aged between fourteen and twenty five, UN agency have sight loss, likewise as their families.
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  34. Lacey, you are one of the most beautiful moms I have ever seen, both inside and out! Your story is so inspiring and making a difference in the world! And your little boy, Christian IS beautiful! You are blessed!

  35. Hi Lacey,

    My name is Faiza and I am from Pakistan. I cam across your video where you shared Christian with the world... I loved it to bits and even though I am continents apart; I would love to meet Christian one day!

    He is adorable and an absolute joy (:

  36. Praise God for a wonderful family like yours. You are strong, your faith is strong, and yes, God has blessed you with a bundle of purity and love. Christian is gorgeous! Thank you for sharing your story. It is inspirational and I would love to follow your journey as he grows because I have a feeling he will continue to inspire people across the world. xxxxxxxx

  37. hello I am a fellow blogger who just wanted to stop by and say hello I am a young woman with cerebral palsy who writes from a first hand account of what life is like with cerebral palsy there is only a handful of us with it that actually share what it is like usually its parents Thank you for being brave enough to share your story christian is beautiful I hope you will take a moment to stop by and say hello on my blog

  38. Hi Lacey Just wanted to say Thank You for this amazing message. Earlier this year I visited Malawi to meet with persons with disabilities. Many of them spoke about how there parents were told they would be better leaving their baby by the river at night. All of the people I met were inspiring and amazing. Later this year i will be going back out to deliver rights and advocacy training with village disability groups, because every child matters and we need to tell every story xxxx

  39. I know it's easier said then done, but pay no attention to those rude people who say hurtful things to an innocent boy. It's a shame, they were given the gift of sight but are truly blind to the beauty of this special boy "Super C". We're all unique individuals. Some short, some tall, some skinny, some larger in stature. But at the end of the day were all human, and have feeling. Feeling that are felt deep inside. You don't need vision or hearing to have these. I own a small business, a hot dog stand in a park in Chicago and on Wednesdays is Cubs care. Cubs care is baseball for special needs children. And I must say that I'm amazed by these kids determination and love for the game. Not to mention the kids are more then polite and courteous. I believe the rude people we speak are just ignorant, and haven't been exposed by the wonders and true beauty of these and your kid(s). Take care and continue to walk w/ your head up high.

  40. You are a beautiful mother. Your son is happy, and very special Child of God. I think he is perfect. He was born the way he is because he is already has a perfect soul and he need to be here to make your family complete. The smiles, and affection he gives are enough for me to fall in love with him. God doesn't make mistakes.....PEOPLE DO!! Thank you for being his mother and inspiring me to remember to thank the Lord above for mine. You had to be a good woman for God to entrust with you his little Angel.

  41. By the way, you should write a book and go on Oprah. You have a lot to share. It is kind of a responsibility to share what you know so you can help other mom's like you. My kids are 100% healthy and I feel so touched and blessed to get to enjoy your pics of your son. He is beautiful, and he is growing up fast.

  42. Wao,great MOM,you have such a gift,to inspire people.You always made the right choice to bring Christian to this world.GOD makes everything and everybody in a perfect way.As a mother myself,I could never imagine in aborting my kids,no matter what...Difficult,I bet,Impossible,NEVER! Many blessings to you and your beautiful family!!!

  43. You're amazing. Seriously, this made me tear up. God knew what He was doing when He gave you Christian.

  44. Hi. My name is Danka. I live in Polen. I don't speek very well in english. I have two douther. The yunger is very sick. She have West Syndrom. She is 3 yers old but she doesen't walk, sit and speek.
    we hawe watching film about Christian. And we cry. YOU ARE VERY STRON WOMAN. Wonderful mather.
    Christian is beautifuul!
    if You want know more about my douther You find us here:

  45. Hi Lacey, I recently heard your story about Christian and I found your blog today. You have a wonderful story and are an amazing mom. I was born with Spina bifida so I and my family understand where you are coming from with this. Keep fighting the fight with faith in God and you all will go far. I look forward to reading more about your family and your little guy.

  46. Hi Lacey,

    I found your blog from LifeSite news and I am so touched by your story. First off, your sweet pea is BEAUTIFUL. Innocence, sweetness and the light of Christ shines through him like all precious children.

    Your son's facial expressions in the pictures I see are so similar to my own kids' smiles. He is so happy and has such a wonderful mommy.

    Second, you have more courage then so many women I know, many of them a lot older than you, who care far too much about fitting in. You are to be applauded, God is smiling down on you and your family each and every moment.

    I want to share with you a little of my experience, in hopes that it gives you insight into dealing with people who say mean things.

    I live in the suburbs of one the most liberal cities in the US (Boston...we moved here for husband's job) and I am from the South. I married at 21 also and then went on to have 4 kids in 5 years time. That just isn't something people who are 27 do up here. My kids are considered "perfect" by our culture's definition, all with blonde hair and blue eyes to boot. And you know what? When I am out in public people tell me stupid things ALL the time: "are they all yours" "you're stopping now right" "take your husband to the clinic to get fixed!" ... and once even "do they all have the same father?!" I know this is NOTHING compared to what you deal with out in public ... I say this to both sympathize and hope to illustrate that people who do not view children as precious gifts from God (the absolute TRUTH), are always going to have a misguided opinion and something idiotic to say about matter what your child looks like. That being said take heart that those of us who know the truth, will only see your son for what he is, so sweet and cute and a child of God....and there are a lot of us!!!

    I do not wonder one bit about "how you do it" as far as parenting Christian goes, because who in their right mind couldn't love that sweet little boy to pieces! I do however wonder, how you deal with mean comments both in public and on social networking sites....because that would enrage me to no end, which isn't fun or healthy. And for that ... you will be in my prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hang in there, you and your family are changing the world for the better. God has such amazing plans for you.

    Peace in Christ,

  47. Praying for you and your family. My daughter has cerebral palsy due to a stroke at birth she has therapy 2times a week and I love what you said about getting on your hands and knees thanking god that your child doesn't have to use a walker to walk. My daughter is almost 3 and just recently started walking without assistance. She has had 3 sets of leg braces she has to wear and just Tuesday got a walker. I know what its like to watch my kid struggle and wanna do what others are doing. She is getting there but she has worked hard to get there and we have never gave up. I know other people have it worse than we do and it breaks my heart. I have respect for parents with kids with disabilities god gave them life as different they may be they are all gods children. Bless you and other families.

  48. Prayers to your precious son, I really needed to read this today. As I sat in the waiting room waiting for my little girls cochlear implant surgery to be finished and the 4 yr fight it took to get to this point, I get a question from another person in the waiting room on how do you deal with people making fun of her hearing aids and now cochlear implants. I said the thought of bullying really was not my first thought in all of this it was the chance to let her hear. She is also blind in one eye do to Coats disease and will likely lose her eye as well, it hurts me to know she will be made fun of for this but hopefully she will come out stronger for it all. She is kind smart beautiful and I could not ask for anything more. I hate that there are so many cold hearted people out there but I have to say it is just ignorance feeding their hate. God blessed you with your son as he did the same with my daughter, I am so thankful everyday for her. Lots of love and prayers to your family from mine!

  49. All I can say to that is "Amen"!! Very well put! That was amazing and so are you and your son! I have a child with a non-visual disability and the same applies! I always say, that child screaming in the isle next to you may not just "need discipline", they may "look normal" (whatever normal is) but just because they appear that way doesn't mean they are! Often children with autism, emotional disorders and true mental disabilities "appear normal" but people judge them and the parents every chance they get without understanding that something may be wrong! The world is sad and unless someone goes through it they can't possibly understand it, primarily because they haven't lived it and are to busy judging instead of educating. I will keep your beautiful baby boy in my prayers! Take care and keep your strength!

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