Christian Taylor Buchanan

Christian Taylor Buchanan

Monday, August 19, 2013

Why I Won't Allow My Toddler to Have Cosmetic Surgery




It strikes me as odd that I have been asked many, many times if I will have Christian undergo cosmetic surgery to repair his birth defect. Apparently, it's not an odd question to most people, because I could not tell you how many times I've been asked. The number literally lurks somewhere close to 500, if I had to guess. I am not AT ALL offended by the question, and I enjoy explaining my answer, but still, I find it odd to be asked.

Imagine your beautiful child that you simply adore. Her little button nose, those ears he got from his daddy, that little smile with that one not-so-straight tooth right up front, those freckles that dot her cheeks, that bright red hair, or that jet black hair. As you imagine that, I am sure you have a few emotions that go along with it: adoration, admiration, love. You probably think that your child is the prettiest thing you've laid eyes on. Well, when I look at my child, with tissue in the place of where eyes should be, and a crooked smile that never stops smiling, those long eyelashes he inherited from me, the three scars on his face that remind me of the journey we've been on, that head full of beautiful, dirty blonde hair, and a nose that is now slightly off because of surgery, I feel exactly the same way. And why wouldn't I? Before he was born, I dreamed of this child, I imagined myself holding him and kissing his sweet little cheeks. I prayed for this child, so fervently, that God would allow him to live and me to raise him. I loved this child, with a passion that I have yet to be able to adequately put into words. I carried this child inside of my body, a bond that is indescribable.
Our perfectly imperfect family


So let me present this question to you about your beautiful child, and then explain a few things. There will be people who don't think your perfect child is as perfect as you do. What if those people suggested to you to get your child cosmetic surgery? What if they said, "Are you going to allow doctors to fix that incredibly large nose?" or "You know doctors can remove those freckles with just a few procedures" or "If you get cosmetic surgery for your child, she will fit in better and others won't pick on her." Devastating. Unreal. Who would really allow their young child (or even teenage child) to undergo cosmetic surgery to change their features, the features that you happen to adore in them? Heck, I can remember the controversy that went on a few years ago about a new trend of teenagers getting plastic or cosmetic surgery to "fit in" better and what an uproar it caused. It's just not an acceptable thing to do.

Although Christian looks different than most people, that also hold true for me. I've had to ask myself, and answer the question, "Am I really willing to let my child undergo cosmetic or plastic surgery simply so he can "look better" or "fit in?"" And my answer is no. Now, listen to this as coming from a mother. I say that because I had a plastic surgeon at Vanderbilt COMPLETELY misinterpret this statement once. He had suggested to me to put Christian through an 8 hour neurosurgery,(Warning: this part gets a little graphic) where he would cut Christian's head open from one ear to the other, pull the skin back, cut the skull open, move the skull bone down, and reattach it with metal screws and wires that would be in Christian's head for the rest of his life. And the purpose of this MAJOR surgery? Are you ready for this? To lower his right brow bone and make his face more symmetrical. I was flabbergasted. The first thing I could manage to say was "Do you really think the ends justify the means here? Eight hour neurosurgery to just drop his brow bone?" And the doctor was shocked at my question, and didn't really answer it. He fumbled and stumbled and danced around my question, but never backed down that Christian needed this surgery. With the voice of a shaky, young mother who was so unsure about so many things, I tried to explain to the doctor why I couldn't allow that surgery, and why something so cosmetic could not possibly justify an eight hour neurosurgery. About a year later, when we were at Vanderbilt for a different specialty, a nurse was reading off Christian's chart to me. She got to the plastic surgery part, and she read "Mother refuses any more surgeries for her child." My mouth dropped. I immediately stopped her and said "THAT IS NOT TRUE!!!!!! Why would he write that?!?" And then it hit me. He completely misunderstood what I had said about Christian and cosmetic surgery.

So, don't misunderstand me on this. Does Christian need surgery? Yes. Will I allow him to have those necessary surgeries? Absolutely!!!! Do I want him to have unnecessary surgery? Absolutely not.

And here's why:
Christian will have many reconstructive surgeries over his lifetime. But there is a difference between reconstructive surgery and cosmetic surgery. His hard and soft palate were affected by his birth defect, and he will need to have that closed so that he can eat and talk properly. He will also have eye lids formed so that he can open and close his eyes, for protection purposes. He will have lots of surgery to correct his birth defect., and by lots, I mean several dozen  That is the short answer for what he will have done, and we will allow him to have these surgeries.

We, as a family, have decided, however, not to put Christian through lots of purely cosmetic surgeries to correct his facial features for several reasons. For one, we don't want to put Christian through more surgeries then he will already have to undergo. Surgery means that Christian will be in pain, scared, away from the comforts of home, missing out on being a child, friends, toys, fun. To add to the number of surgeries he will have just so he can "look better" seems illogical.

And it seems illogical because we think he is beautiful and perfect just as he is. So, we asked ourselves, if we really think he's beautiful, does it make sense to put him through tons of cosmetic surgery? We feel strongly about helping Christian to grow up KNOWING that he is perfect just the way he is, keeping his self esteem high, and teaching him to love himself. And we feel that we could not tell him those things and have him believe them if we do not prove that we believe them. And if we're constantly letting doctors perform surgery on him to "fix the way he looks," how can we prove to him that we believe he's perfect?

Now, that's not to say that when he gets older, if he decides that he wants the surgeries that we would say no. We would support him 100%. But for us, putting him through painful and scary procedures just so that the world will think he looks better is just simply against all logic and reason!


The truth is, no one is "perfect." We all have our own flaws. The secret isn't to get them fixed or hide them, it's to learn to love those imperfect things about yourself. The truth is also that there is no such thing as "normal." Who gets to decide what normal is, anyways? Ask two different people and you will get two completely different answers. In a world that screams "Fit in," I want Christian to know that it's okay to stand out!

69 comments:

  1. Lacey,
    You are such a wonderful mother & God knew what He was doing when He placed Christian in your lives. Christian is sooo blessed to have you as his mommy & you are certainly blessed to have this precious little boy as your son. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you posted. Keep telling that precious son of yours that he IS fearfully and wonderfully made.

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    1. He certainly did. It is too bad that there aren't more mothers out there like you, Lacey! I work with the suicidal, some psychotic, antisocial personality disorders.......you name it......Maybe, just maybe Christian may be able to prevent future cases like the ones I take care of purely because of his existence.......maybe GOD has GRAND PURPOSES for Christian's life........and Jennifer is totally correct........GOD KNEW HE CHOSE WISELY in YOU!

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  2. Your words are so very true!! Our children are perfect to us moms, no matter what they look like. I adore that you have stood up for Christian and have shown him that he doesn't have to be like everyone else. Different is good! God Bless your family for just being you!!

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    1. Hi candy, its julie, I have been following lacey and christian story sence the begining. It is amazing the love we have for are children and to us they are perfect in everyway. Lacey is one strong momma. Christian is always a joy to watch. Love seeing all the new things he is learning and doing. He is perfect! What a blessing from above.

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  3. You are such an amazing mother, God has truly blessed you :)

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  4. Christian is perfect even in my eyes. I am sat here reading your blog with tears streaming and a smile on my face. I agree if he wants the other extra surgeries when he is older then thats his choice.
    I look at your pictures on fb and smile because he is soooo cute and your all sooooo happy and a family

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  5. This is absolutely true. I agree with you 100%. Christian is perfect God made him beautiful just the way he Is.And as you said you want to get him the necessary surgeries not the ones that he doesn't need to add extra recovery periods. I applaud you. Much love to your family ♥♥♥♥

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  6. I completely understand what you are saying, and agree with you... big difference in surgery that is needed and surgery that you do just because,,,,,,,,,,, I am proud of you both as parents, and I think he is a beautiful child,,,

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  7. Very nicely put, Lacey. It saddens me that we live in a world that places such a high value on outward appearances. Stand strong for your precious little boy. His beauty outshines them all :-)

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  8. God bless your beautiful family Lacey! Kisses to your kids.. You inspires me a lot. -Lorraine from Philippines- :)

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  9. Beautiful! When my children see Christian's pictures on the computer, they don't ask any questions, they just say look at him smiling, Mama! He's so cute!

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  10. Very well said lacey! I agree with u 100% on everything u said....christian is perfectly beautiful lil boy. N u cldnt of worded this any better! Ur an amazing mommy!

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  11. You have every right to stand committed to your feelings. I support you 100% and I appreciate you allowing to me follow your families story. YOU are lucky to have Christian and HE is lucky to have you!

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  12. Totally agree with your thoughts. Why can't they combine some of the cosmetic with the reconstructive? But of course, the reconstructive comes first as that is what is needed. As he gets older and can make some decisions for himself if he wants to go thru the "extra" stuff...then that would be his decision. You are a beautiful mother with a beautiful family!

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  13. I absolutely LOVE this. I wish more mothers were like you. You are such a strong inspiration to me. I cannot wait to see how christian develops as a person, he is going to do great things and be an amazing person thanks you, your amazing parents. I honestly hope i will get a chance to meet christian one day, he seems like such a joy to be around and get to know. I LOVE how you are his advocate and will always stand up for him. "Normal" people are sometimes the people with the most problems, they think "normal" is right, and truth is nothing is right, were all meant to be different and thats what is right, and Christian is the best example of that, never will i meet anyone else who touches my heart as much. <3

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  14. I'm just curious about the open skin where his eyes should be. Doesn't that area hurt and get dirty?

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  15. very well said - so glad I found your blog from a friend of a friend ... I will keep you and your beautiful wonderful family in my prayers!

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  16. Lacey,
    You are a true Godly woman; I love you and Christian dearly. Hmm and here is a secret, I have deactivated my Facebook for more than 2 years now, but I activate it sometimes to follow Christian's update. I LOVE your handsome young man - he makes me smile seeing him healthy and happy having wonderful parents like you and his dad. I admire your faith, your hard work and simply what you are doing as a mother. Thank you for your time on the net sharing with us what you share, and thank you for being who you are. I can't wait to see your boy in his 20s, I just have this feeling that God will use him to bless countless people. Finally, Christian is a blessing in my life.

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  17. I have been following you and your littles since seeing your video on Facebook .. for you I cried and smiled and praised your strength .. good for you Lacy!!!I have a severely handicapped nephew who I love with my whole heart .. though he cannot walk or talk and is now 35 and still wears a diaper and bib he is loved like no other..He is always included in any event and we make certain everything is wheel chair accessible even if he may not come .. I prayed for you and your family .. now I'm not a christian though I was raised one .. but I believe in the Divine and I believe that your little boy is ever so special I simply adore him .. love that smile of his and was thrilled he is now asking for things and brushing his hair you would think it was my child I was so happy for you ... I have to laugh at dr's like lowering his eyebrow means all that much .. I just shake my head thinking they would put that sweet child through the pain and agony for something so minor ... you are not just a good mommy you are a great mommy ...

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  18. Christian is a perfect little boy, don't change anything!! Don't listen to what people have to say cause if they were in your shoes and had a child like Christian they would eat there words. They would not change their child either. I completely agree with what you wrote. You have a beautiful family and i am so happy that i have been able to follow your familes story. :)

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  19. He's a perfectly handsome boy being raised by a wonderful family, that's all that counts. Love your posts and your blog.

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  20. I really need to comment on your blog post. I will share my comment here as well as on the blog. I know you have your child's best interest at heart. There is a HUGE difference between reconstructive and cosmetic surgery... a HUGE difference. You did not really explain the difference in the two to your readers... Cosmetic surgery enhances "normal" features. Reconstructive rebuilds structures that are missing or not normal. The surgery the surgeon in Vanderbilt was talking about was giving your child a more normal appearance. I am 49 and was born with an extremely rare craniofacial anomaly called arrhinia, which is the absence of the nose. I had my first nasal reconstruction at age five so I could go to school with my brothers. At 12 or 13, I told my parents and my plastic surgeon that I did not want to go thru the reconstructive surgeries to build my permanent nose. It took my parents and plastic surgeon some convincing that I needed the surgeries. All of my surgeries have been to make my appearance more normal. I never wanted perfection... I have always been happy and confident with who I am.

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  21. WOW, as we southerners say, "You hit the nail right on the head." Lacey, your family is different than my family, my family is different than my sisters family, my sisters family is different than Raine B.'s family. So WHY do people insist that everyone have to be a "10" in this world. I am like you and I, too, question, 'What is a Perfect person and Who choses this ??? Anyway, every since I found your video, I have you on my FB page and I LOVE to watch your family grow and I love to watch Christian as well as his little sister grow together. God bless you & yours

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  22. Lacey, I so appreciate your thoughtfulness toward surgery. I underwent several as a young child and they were traumatic. Unfortunately, my parents listened the doctor when he said I needed to look like other kids. It didn't work though, and has just left me disappointed with my appearance. Thank you for your kind words reminding those of us with birth defects to love the imperfect parts of ourselves. (And for people w/o who just need to accept themselves for who God has made them on the outside. After all, it's the insides that count.)

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  23. Beautifully said....and I am with you 100%. As the mother of a child with a birth defect (heart), we have been through several surgeries with him. He is an adult now, but will have pacemaker replacement surgeries periodically throughout his life. The surgeon did a beautiful job repairing his heart and the scar there only shows when he is tanned...and even then, I see that and am in awe of the doctor's skill and the fact that the scar is evidence of God's remarkable power and healing.

    Christian has a scars? His eyebrows aren't symmetrical? I have to admit that I haven't noticed them...I see that happy smile.

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  24. with tears in my eyes while reading this story I agree 100% you have a beautiful son your doing a wonderful job raising him god bless you always ♥

    MaryAnn Hughes-Hallman

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  25. I completely understand where you're coming from. My son HAD to have neurosurgery due to early fused plates in his skull, and some people have asked me if we did it just for cosmetic purposes. I'm like, "really?". I would have loved his pointy little head. But, it was going to cause him all types of neurological problems later in life. Some people just don't understand what loving your child truly means. I'm glad you do. Prayers for your little family! <3

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    1. As long as your child is safe and in the best health they can be, then why should it matter what they look like?! Society is too judgmental. I don't even know your son but i bet he is handsome just the way he is!

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  26. You have two beautiful little boys & god blessed you with them.. Christian's not your normal kid but that's what makes him more special! I don't personally know him but he is probably one of the most beautiful little boys inside and out!
    He's blessed to have such a beautiful & strong mum too. I adore you for being there for him, most parents would have been indecisive but you have looked fate in the face & screwed it. Christian doesn't need to see the world to know its beautiful because his family ensure he knows,

    We need more people like you in this world! Your an inspiration

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  27. Compliments, you have this beautiful, wise and valuable expressed! I love it.
    Love and Light for you!
    Karin

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  28. awesome Blog.. and yes.. God created him beautiful and Unique why would anybody want to change that.. Christian was put here for a reason and a purpose and he will do succeed because of the Family he has.. God could not have picked a better Mother for Christian... Blessings and LOVE ..

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  29. You are such an incredible mother. Even when you are younger than me, you are an inspiration for me. Wish only the best for you, Christian, your husband and your new baby boy

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  30. I admit I was curious as to why there had not been more surgery yet, but now I completely understand and agree. His physical, emotional, mental, spiritual health are more important than mere "looks". What is absolutely necessary will be done and what HE chooses as secondarily necessary can also be done, later. A happy person has a natural beauty no matter what. Not sure what profile to use, it may not use my real name, but I am RaeJeanne Nilsen

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  31. He doesnt need cosmetic surgery, you think he is gorgeous and so does a million other people, he may not look like all the other kids but why should he? The people that stand out make the biggest impact on everyone elses life. He was born this way for a reason, so why try to change that?! .. Kids or teens shouldnt go through cosmetic surgery and even some adults as for the simple fact there are always complications. He is a gorgeous little boy and by the photo's and video's posted on your facebook account he is very happy being the way he is. So as you say, why change that and make him unhappy and scared by putting him through so many surgeries. The only surgery he needs are the ones that are necessary. You and your family are an inspiration to many others and i applaud you for everything you have had to deal with and overcome. x

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  32. Lacey you are a wonderful mother and you can tell Christian is such a happy and loved little boy. Some people just dont stop and think before they ask those hurtful questions, and you handle it with such grace and poise. There is going to be lots of time for Christian to grow up and when he is old enough he can decide IF he wants to go through those surgeries. Keep up the great work you are an inspiration to moms everywhere!

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  33. You are very wise for your young years ! Christian looks incredibly happy from the pics I have seen . Keep up the good work ! Thoughts & prayers with you always . TC

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  34. I completely understand why you wouldn't want him to undergo even more surgeries just so our twisted society will think he is handsome! I know alot of people probably think he is scary looking but honestly everytime I see a picture of him my heart melts and I personally think he is the most beautiful child I have ever seen. Maybe when he gets older he might decide that he wants the cosmetic surgery but he might also choose to be just the way he is. I know he will have a very hard life. People will bully him and he will be very upset but He has an amazing family to help him through it. I see him having a very great life. I honestly hope I get the chance to meet him one day.your family will be in my prayers to have God help you guys through all the tough surgeries. I really enjoy all of the pictures and stuff you post on facebook I look forward to everyone of them

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  35. Amazing explanation. You are a wonderful mother, and making the best decisiĆ³ns for Christian. He is sure a lucky to be your child, and bet he shows it with laughter and love everyday.

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  36. Perfectly said!!! Can't wait to meet him and you and Chandler! I think Christian is a beautiful child!

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  37. I am so glad that God gave Christian to such an intelligent, loving couple. I know how painful it is for a mother to watch her child in pain from necessary surgery, as my oldest had to have a couple surgeries on his feet before he was a year old. I just can't imagine putting your baby through such pain just for cosmetic reasons. How shallow and uncaring that would be. Yes, if he chooses the cosmetic surgeries himself when he is older, support him. But, thank God you won't put him through it for other peoples' opinions of him. He is beautiful the way he is. I love that precious smile of his! And I love you for the mother you are. God is good, Lacey.

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  38. Your courage and wisdom is inspiring. God has given you and Chris a blessing with Christian . You were absolutely correct in your response to the doctor and others who want to "make" Christian "normal". God created this beautiful child, perfectly. God Bless.

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  39. I appreciate your comments and support of Christian. However I"m not in full agreement with denying "cosmetic" surgery, because you love him the way he is. The cosmetic surgery will not only help correct the brow, but help correct internal problems that may come to light as Christian grows. His bones are softer now and easier to correct than when he gets older. Christians sinus cavities may already be effected and cause future problems that can not be seen right now. That being said I thank God your Christians parents and love him dearly.

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    1. I think that if the sinuses were affected then the surgeon would have told the parents when he was trying to convince them in having the 8 hour surgery done. That being said. I do believe that having the surgery now would be better then waiting until Christian was an adult but it is not our decision to make.

      When I was pregnant with my now seven year old son I was given some tests too early as no one adjusted my due date. I was called at work on a Wednesday and told I needed to come in and see a genetic doctor on Monday but not to worry just the test for trisomy 21 came back positive. Do not worry. What? My co-workers all got on the net and looked up the problem to see what it was and how bad it was. They were not going to tell me. I said don't tell but when I get home I'll look it up myself. I knew my child was going to be a boy and it affects boys the worst. It could be as simple as webbed fingers or toes or death and lots of in betweens that you won't know about until birth. OK, I am scared now. My husband and I go to the meeting and our options are explained to us then we are sent to see our OB. The first question asked of us was when would you like to schedule the abortion? I said what? Who said anything about aborting? Then the OB checks my chart and asks a simple question - did anyone in the staff adjust your due date. I said no. He says well I think we have a problem and this test was given too early. So he contacts our insurance company to have this very expensive test redone and guess what this time it is negative. However, I spent the rest of my pregnancy worried about which test was correct. In the end I got a very healthy 7 lbs 7 oz little boy who had nothing physically wrong with him. He does have some emotional problems but that was that due to this chromosome. If I had listened to the doctors I would have aborted a very healthy little boy. We as mother's need to follow our hearts and what our gut tells us.

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    2. Thank you!!! If there are internal ie sinus problems that need to be addressed with surgery, we would never deny Christian those surgeries. I think that would fall under the category of necessary. :)

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  40. Go for what you believe in, Lacey; those freaking doctor that tells you otherwise can go strait to where they came from.
    Christian is so special in his own way, and what God have given, surely God has purpose for him. whatever necessary surgery will suffice enough to wait until he is ready. God grant you more strength and wisdom. God loves you and your family so much...

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  41. This is an absolutely beautiful article about an absolutely beautiful boy and your amazing journey. Thank you for being inspirations!!

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  42. Ok I understand your answer and agree to a point. What if Christian decides HE wants surgery to correct his looks? Do you think being made fun of on a daily basis for the rest of his life will become comfortable? I didn't have the problems that your son has but was what they called plump. I wasn't fat, I was very athletic, but because of emotional situations at home I was heavier than I should have been. At 17 I finally tried to take my life in an attempt to stop some of the emotional pain. I had finally had enough emotional pain and became so depressed I could no longer think. What if Christian becomes depressed from the torments of others? You can only talk away so much. Would you then allow him to choose surgery?

    I had a special needs child too so I do have an idea what Christian will go through. Please don't put your ideas in stone because at some time Christian will have his own and you may have to comply with HIS wishes.

    I pray for you both and ask GOD to give you emotional, physical and spiritual strength.

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    1. Thank you! As stated in the blog post, if Christian decides he wants surgery, we will support him 200%. :)

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  43. For those of us with children who do not present with such dramatic outward birth defects, it is difficult -- even with compassion and maturity and circumspection on board -- to fully comprehend your perspective on such an issue as you have presented here. This entry truly represents the beauty of the blog as a platform to INform others in a more personal and introspective manner. It's a wonderfully intimate, and very honest, glimpse into the life of a family dealing with the extraordinary within the parameters of the everyday. Regardless of what the reader decides to accept or debate, the end result is that of a fuller picture. Thank you for widening our eyes just a bit more, Lacey.

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  44. I don't know what to say except that "You Are Amazing"! Christian is lucky to have you. When your photo showed up on my feed I thought it was terrible joke. Why would anyone do that? I thought to myself. I clicked on your name, read your blogs, looked at all your pictures and sat here and cried. Not because I felt sorry for him or your family but because I was so touched by his story. This world can be a terrible place but it can also be a good place. One day as your son gets older he will experience the cruelty of human nature. It will be unavoidable. But you have this site and you can read him all your letters and all the wonderful posts from people all over the world and he will know that he is loved. This is a testimony of thousands of wonderful people that are standing beside him. And I agree with you 100%. There is no way I would let them cut the top of my sons head off to raise an eyebrow! Christian is going to have good friends in his life and I doubt they are going to care where his eyebrow is! God Bless and good luck to you and your family. When you put that baby to bed tonight please give him a great big hug for me and tell him someone from far away sent that to him and he will forever be in my heart!

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  45. Just came across your blog today. I love you as a person, a mother, and a human being. How you explained this would be exactly what I would expect from any real parent. unfortunately our society has specific ' views ' on what beauty is but with more people like you hopefully we can become a more loving society!!! Thank you for sharing.

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  46. We are God's children, and we are all created in HIS image. Who are we to change that?

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  47. Your son is blind because of your inaction and you are guilty of the sin of omission. What kind of parents would do that to their child? You had the opportunity to prevent his blindness but failed to act. Since you are fatalists you should refuse all future medical care and leave his fate to god.

    From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sin_of_omission

    Another way to phrase the sin of omission would be to say "He who has the ability to act on an injustice, but who stands idly by, is just as guilty as he who holds the knife." --Dracano Sapien

    Prenatal testing was developed to prevent suffering and you choose to reject the help offered, the same as the story below.

    http://epistle.us/inspiration/godwillsaveme.html

    Shortly after, the house broke up and the floodwaters swept the man away and he drowned.

    When in Heaven, the man stood before God and asked, “I put all of my faith in You. Why didn’t You come and save me?”

    And God said, “Son, I sent you a warning. I sent you a car. I sent you a canoe. I sent you a motorboat. I sent you a helicopter. What more were you looking for?”

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    1. My son is blind because of a birth defect that I did nothing to cause and had no power to prevent. To compare me to someone who refuses medical intervention is uneducated. I received ALL prenatal testing that my doctor recommended and have since accepted ALL medical treatment my sonMs doctor has recommended that was in his best interest. I have only refused treatment that was not in his best interest, and I would be a terrible mother if I blindly allowed a doctor to treat him when it was not in his best interest.

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    2. You have spoken about something that you know nothing about, and you look foolish. You're right in one respect. What kind of parent, having the opportunity to prevent blindness in their child, would choose not to? A terrible parent obviously. And THAT, I am not. If there had been anything that I could've done to prevent his blindness, it would've been done. You don't know me, you don't know my son, you know nothing of his medical condition, you know nothing of our family, our lives, or our situation. Yet you still spoke. You have shown your ignorance in your willingness to speak on a matter you have no knowledge about.

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    3. Lacey, I admire and totally agree with you. The idea of physically changing who you are so that OTHERS put you in the "normal/beautiful" group should be in everybody's head, from mothers to top models and celebrities. Because getting a rhinoplasty or breast implants don't change you into a better person or make you better than anyone else. That's my opinion, at least. We need more mothers like you (and like mine) in the world, so they can teach their kids to love themselves as they are (and that's what my mother did to me - although I'm physically normal, I know how imperfect I am). Nowadays people don't seem to care about the INSIDE, and that kills me a bit, so reading something like that makes my day! Keep on being great to your kids!!!

      Jeffrey, I'm so glad people like you exist. It makes me feel good about myself, of how intelligent and caring I am and of how important I am to the world. Pretty sure Lacey felt that way too. I feel sorry for your kids and wife (of course, if you managed to have any) and friend and relatives, though. They must struggle not to abandon you sometimes.
      Either way, keep on your great work of thinking and saying shit, so that way people around feel better... about themselves, of course.

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  48. I pray that God has mercy for these ignorant people who choose to believe that they have knowledge about the birth of Christian...Christian is a Precious Gift from God. Lacey, God chose you to be Christian's Mommy
    because God knew you would love him unconditionally as God does us. Christian has inspired many. I read your story and it really touched our hearts. God bless you and your family.

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  49. Hi…My name is Karl Schonborn and I really enjoy reading your blog posts. I was born with a cleft lip and palate and know firsthand about the difficulties many children experience as a result. My childhood was fraught with taunts of “Harelip” and bullying, but with courage, humor, and my family’s love, I overcame the shame, handicaps, and personal losses that might’ve defeated others less resolute. My memoir, Cleft Heart: Chasing Normal, will be released in October. I currently update my own blog and would love if you could check out my postings at KarlSchonborn.com. It’d be great to connect on twitter (@KarlSchonborn) and Facebook (Facebook.com/CleftHeartChasingNormal). I am always looking for new people to follow and connect with through social media! Thanks for your time and for the great posts on your site.

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  50. aww, congradulations guys on your two beautiful kids! They are so perfect, especially to God and you guys! and I do myself agree that they are both perfect and beautiful! Keep continuing to do a wonderful job as you have, and remember, every child is beautiful in God's eyes. You will remain in my prayers! again, congradulations, and God bless!

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  51. Hello Christian and family. Greetings from Finland!
    I value your story so much, you with your strong heart and constant will to smile, your family who is beyond amazing and the doctors who has been there for you too.
    I wish you all the health, happiness & love in your life, you deserve it.
    With love,
    Laura and family

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  53. I'm sure you must hear this a lot but you are such a strong woman and your story touches my heart in ways I cannot even begin to explain. good for you for standing your ground and not letting what people perceive as "normal" sway such important decisions in your and your sons lives. I know you are only playing the cards you were dealt but I only hope I can be a as strong and amazing of a mother as you are.

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  54. Just found your lovely family today on face book, and was instantly drawn to your story. I applaud you mom and dad, stick to your convictions! Continue to raise your boys to love themselves and others no matter their differences! That is the way God created us, and he doesn't make mistakes ever! When I look at your pictures all I see are two very happy and loved little boys, a lot of how he feels about himself is in how you make him feel loved and accepted now. Later in life when they come across someone iggnorant, because of you and how you two are raising them, they will know how to respond, and if someone tries to be cruel it may hurt a little, but he will remember what you and your family taught him, and he will be ok. I will be remembering your family in our family prayers... The world would be much better with more parents like you! Thank you for sharing your life story with us all!

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