Christian Taylor Buchanan

Christian Taylor Buchanan

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Five Tips To Teach Your Kids about People With Differences - Part One

We have all been there, including me. You are innocently grocery shopping or at a play ground or doing some typical activity, when suddenly, your child notices someone with a disability, or difference, and rather loudly and uncouthly proclaims her discovery for everyone within a 3 mile radius to hear. You are embarrassed, and maybe a little ashamed that your child is that kid. You might try to apologize, or maybe you just grab your kiddo and make a run for it, red faced and all.

If you haven't experienced this, you just aren't living! haha! Seriously though. I have even been through something similar with two year old, not-yet-talking Chandler, who is around Christian every single day of his life! A friend invited me to a meet and greet of a sweet man named Frederick.  I was so excited to attend this meeting with Chandler in tow. Frederick lived in Rwanda in the 90's during a mass genocide of Tutsi people. We listened to Frederick recant the harrowing day that the bus he was on was stopped by a group of Hutu, who were the perpetrators of the killings. He can tell the story much better than I can, but in short, all the passengers on the bus were removed. Frederick was given a weapon (I can't remember now if it was a knife or a gun) and asked to kill all the other passengers in exchange for his life being spared. Frederick refused, and so the Hutu group cut off both of Fredericks hands past the wrist, tied him to a tree, and left to die. The rope actually acted of tourniquet that stopped blood loss. Frederick amazingly survived, but was left, of course, without his hands.

Frederick Ndabaramiye
You can get Frederick's book here and read his full account of his story:  https://www.amazon.com/Frederick-Story-Boundless-Hope-Ndabaramiye/dp/052910119X

After Frederick spoke, he took time to meet folks who came to hear him. I was excited to get a book signed and talk to Frederick. When it was our turn, Frederick's eye lit up at Chandler. I mean, what can I say? He's a cute kid. Frederick seemed to especially love children from what I gathered. He reached out and asked Chandler to come to him. Chandler just stared at Frederick's arms where he knew hands should be. Frederick continued to reach out and asked Chandler if he could hold him. At this point, Chandler began grabbing me as if Frederick was trying to kidnap him and screaming an ear-piercing, earth shatter scream. He was absolutely terrified of Frederick because of Frederick's difference. I felt a wave of emotions, including but not limited to wanting to just dig a hole and crawl in it right then and there. I apologized to Frederick profusely and tried to comfort Chandler. Frederick was kind enough to hold his arm out and let Chandler watch me touch it so that he would know it was okay, but alas, nothing quieted Chandler's terror except to get away from what scared him. *sigh*

That day sticks out to me because I finally knew what it was like being on the other side of the isle. I felt what these parents were feeling when their child did something embarrassing around my Christian. I always saw their embarrassment, but I had never felt it the way I did that day. So, I can say that, even though we are mostly on the receiving end of some embarrassing comments, I have lots of sympathy for parents who just want to raise decent humans and yet still feel like it's an uphill battle. I've been there!

I was asked this week on social media, and I get asked often, what my advice is for teaching children about people with differences, acceptance, and inclusion. And TADA! This blog post was born. I want to take a little pressure off and give you guys my pointers for helping your kids learn about differences so that maybe one day they won't embarrass the snot out of you in public will be good people who can look past a disability and see a person first. I also wanted to include some practical tips along the way! So, here is part one of my five part series on teaching your kids about differently abled people or people with differences. I hope you find this post helpful and practical for your every day life! So, here goes!


 Five Tips To Teach Your Kids about People With Differences  - Part 1

Rule Number 1 - Don't Avoid People with Differences

A cute photo of Christian just because!
Differences are not the elephant in the room. You don't have to turn and go the other way for fear of your child saying something that points out a person's difference.  You don't have to avoid looking at, making eye contact with, or noticing a person with a difference. I mean, don't stare, but hey, I don't have any physical differences and I would be a little creeped out if someone was staring at me, too, ya know? You don't have to pretend that a person's difference doesn't exist. That person who you are trying to pretend isn't in a wheelchair totally knows they are in a wheelchair! :D So, if you worry that you feel awkward and don't want to embarrass yourself, I get it, but the only way you are going to stop feeling awkward is to step out of your comfort zone and dive in! It really is okay to not say the perfect thing or react in the perfect way. It's okay to feel awkward. What's not okay is missing out on the amazing people you could know if you give yourself the grace to get it wrong and go talk to someone who is different.

Noticing and asking me about Christian's facial difference is truly okay. It isn't going to bring about some shock. I am not going to look at his face for the first time and realize that it's different. I already know and I happen to love his face! I squeeze it all. the. time because it's so cute! I don't mind talking about Christian or his difference. In fact, you might have trouble getting me to stop blabbing about Christian once I get started. (Have you seen this blog?!)  I'm pretty much his biggest fan. Christian has even learned to tell people when they ask him what happened to his eyes, "That's how I was born!" as he bounces and hops about happily. He knows he has a difference and as far as he's concerned, he's cool with it. We know he is different. Issues would arise if you judged him poorly based on his difference. That would not be cool.


Avoiding us, even if you think you are just trying to spare us, sends the opposite message of acceptance and inclusion. Turning away from, avoiding, or ignoring people with differences tells kids (and those of us in the disabled community) that this is how people with differences are to be treated.

You also don't have to walk on egg shells around people with disabilities for fear of offending them. I have seen it so many times, and I appreciate that people care enough about our feelings to go to such lengths to avoid hurting us, but we really don't have paper thin skin and our feelings are just not that fragile. I have found that most folks are not offended by well meaning questions, even poorly worded ones. I have also noticed that especially when someone realizes that a parent is bringing their child forward to help them understand, people with differences are generally more than happy to talk to those children! Why wouldn't they be? Each person they reach is one less person to carry on the stigma that so many differently abled people have to live with every day.

If you, in all good intentions, talk to a person who happens to have a difference and they are rude to you, I can almost guarantee that you can chalk that up to them having a bad day or just not being a nice person. I wouldn't count that as you doing something wrong. Maybe you did say something that wasn't exactly kosher. It's easy to do. That doesn't give anyone an excuse to be rude. If it bothers them that much, they can take time to educate you on what language they would prefer.

People with differences are just people, and they generally want human connection like the rest of us. Please realize that you don't have to, nor do I encourage, that you focus on the person's difference when trying to initiate a conversation. I would even suggest that you don't start off with, "Hi, so, I noticed you're in a wheel chair." Their response might be


😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

May I suggest, instead, some of these introduction lines:


  • Hi, how are you doing?
  • Good day! How's it going?
  • Hi, my name is Lacey. What's yours?
  • Nice to meet you.
  • Love your Backstreet Boys shirt! They're my favorite! (I tailored that one for me, but you can insert your own favorite band. 😂) 

I hope you laughed at that a little, but I also hope you see what I'm trying to say. However you would approach any other person and strike up a conversation, there is no reason to do anything different when it's a person with a difference.

Please don't think that I'm saying that talking about a person's disability or difference isn't off topic, either. If the conversation naturally gleans that way, by all means, discuss it. Just don't force it. Talking about your brother's friend's grandma's cousin having a similar condition is a bit of a stretch. But you can tell them your child is curious about their chair and you were wondering if it would be okay to come talk to them about it. I bet almost everyone would be happy to oblige. And if they say no, well, you can just say, "Okay, thanks anyways!" and smile and walk away. Sometimes you might just catch someone when it isn't a good time.

So, I hope you found this informative! I hope you laughed! But most of all, I hope you found this blog helpful in understanding how important it is to include people with differences, and how avoiding them can cause unintended harm.

See you next Thursday for Part two of this series, Five Rules To Teach Your Kids about People With Differences!

19 comments:

  1. lacey this was a very touching story even though i have followed ya'll since he was born this made me tear up really bad with tears of joy for me cause i got to see this handsome boy from tiny to where he is today and i enjoy every minute of it i love your family you all are wonderful parents to both boys you are a caring loving women god bless ya'll from the bottom of my heart

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
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    2. My mouth is full of testimonies, my girlfriend left for two years to Canada for a tourist, where she meant one bad ass and she was bewitch by the guy so surprisingly my girlfriend refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called Dr Haberle and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 2 days my girlfriend came back to me and started crying that i should for forgive her, I'm so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my girlfriend. Dr Haberle is a genuine Dr Haberle contact him on his Email: drhaberlespelltemplegmail.com or drhaberlespelltemple@yahoo.com or his web: https:/drhaberlespelltemp.wixsitecom/mysite or his Mobile:+27643508906

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  2. This is so informative and I appreciate it. God bless you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you have followed Christian, you already see the beauty in him. So it makes sense to try to get to know him. I would love to meet him.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BREAKUP REHAB ( AWESOME TRUE STORY )

    I am Brian Donald and this is my testimony. In September 18th 2017, my girlfriend Maggie called it a quit to our 6 years relationship. it was pathetic, i tried to calm her down but she insisted on breakup because she has met another nice guy in Sydney. the pain was too-much for me to bear, so i went online to look for help then i saw a blog about this powerful spell caster from USA called Dr. Ugo Wonders. i read alot of testimonies about him but i was not too sure if he could help me because i was living in Australia but i decided to give him a try. i emailed him all about my relationship problem and my fear for distance, he assured me not to worry that distance is not a barrier and that the wind blows, so shall my help locate me in 24 hours.i trusted him by his words at once and followed his instructions. Immediately after 24 hours of casting the spell as he instructed me, my girlfriend who left me to be with another man came back home to me and started begging me forgiveness. i was shocked, surprised and amazed and i was like "wow" it worked like a magic. this is the reason i decided to share this my wonderful testimony with the whole world to contact this world classified spell caster called Dr. Ugo for any relationship or breakup issues via his email generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number +13863369876 website: http://generalspelltempleblog.wordpress.com



    BREAKUP REHAB ( AWESOME TRUE STORY )

    I am Brian Donald and this is my testimony. In September 18th 2017, my girlfriend Maggie called it a quit to our 6 years relationship. it was pathetic, i tried to calm her down but she insisted on breakup because she has met another nice guy in Sydney. the pain was too-much for me to bear, so i went online to look for help then i saw a blog about this powerful spell caster from USA called Dr. Ugo Wonders. i read alot of testimonies about him but i was not too sure if he could help me because i was living in Australia but i decided to give him a try. i emailed him all about my relationship problem and my fear for distance, he assured me not to worry that distance is not a barrier and that the wind blows, so shall my help locate me in 24 hours.i trusted him by his words at once and followed his instructions. Immediately after 24 hours of casting the spell as he instructed me, my girlfriend who left me to be with another man came back home to me and started begging me forgiveness. i was shocked, surprised and amazed and i was like "wow" it worked like a magic. this is the reason i decided to share this my wonderful testimony with the whole world to contact this world classified spell caster called Dr. Ugo for any relationship or breakup issues via his email generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number +13863369876 website: http://generalspelltempleblog.wordpress.com

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    ReplyDelete
  8. My mouth is full of testimonies, my girlfriend left for two years to Canada for a tourist, where she meant one bad ass and she was bewitch by the guy so surprisingly my girlfriend refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called Dr Haberle and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 2 days my girlfriend came back to me and started crying that i should for forgive her, I'm so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my girlfriend. Dr Haberle is a genuine Dr Haberle contact him on his Email: drhaberlespelltemplegmail.com or drhaberlespelltemple@yahoo.com or his web: https:/drhaberlespelltemp.wixsitecom/mysite or his Mobile:+27643508906

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  9. Great article! I hope this helps a lot of women out there.

    Fix your marriage and relationship after a breakup or divorce, 100% guarantee Love spell..! A very big problem occurred in my Marriage seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited. I sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he is coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Trust, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com WhatsApp or call him:+2348156885231

    His website for more others views: https://utimatespellcast.wordpress.com Thanks for reading.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi every one i am Janet Jordan and i am from USA, I had a fight with my husband about three years ago and since then he has refuse to talk to me or even care about our family affair he abandoned us and went after another woman leaving me with three kids two girls and a boy,so last weeks a friend of my introduced me to a spell caster called Dr. Ozil who helped me brought my husband back many think he is a scam but i promise you that he is nothing compare to that not even close so if you have some problems in having or getting your ex back you can contact the great and wonderful spell caster Dr. Ozil in this address and he be willing to help you via: drozilsolutionhome@yahoo.com or drozilsolutionhome@outlook.com Call or WhatsApp: +2348161897826 View his website: http://drozilsolutionhomes.webs.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. Has a guy ever given you mixed signals?

    One minute he’s crazy about you and the next minute you have no clue if he ever wants to see you again?

    And it’s especially hard when there’s something special between you and you have no idea what went wrong.

    I assure you it’s nothing that you did.

    In fact, he may even care about you a great deal and still not be able to stop himself from acting this way.

    But why does this happen?

    There’s one BIG reason why men do this...

    And I discovered this eye opening video that will shed some light on this bizarre behaviour.

    Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

    It all comes down to a missing “secret ingredient” that not one in a thousand women knows about...

    And it’s the biggest factor that determines whether a man just “likes” you...

    ...or if he sees you as “The One.”

    You see, this “secret ingredient” is so important to a man that no matter how attracted to you he is, or how strong your chemistry is...

    If it’s missing, he’ll never be able to truly give his heart to you...

    And he will always have an unshakeable urge to seek out a woman who has this one “secret ingredient.”

    Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> The difference between “like” and “love” (most women miss this)

    On the other hand, when you know this powerful “secret ingredient”...

    ...you won’t believe how effortless, passionate and bulletproof your relationship can be.

    Trust me, this is going to blow you away.

    Discover it here: ==> Men fall in love with women who have this “secret ingredient”

    Thanks again.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My broken marriage has been restore with the help of Dr. Trust the most best spell cast online i highly recommends Dr Trust to anyone in need of help: Look through his website for more reviews of him https://utimatespellcast.wordpress.com

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  13. HOW TO GET YOUR EX BACK WITH YOU NOW!!!
    I have something to share with you!!! There is a great joy in my heart which I want to share with everyone. My name is Gunn Jenssen Faith . I had a misunderstanding with my lover several months ago; which led us to break up and he never wanted to hear my voice again. But as time went on, a good friend of mine recommended DR.PEPOKO who could help me with Love Spell to get my man back. At first, I thought the idea of a love spell was strange,but was willing to give it a try because i really love my boyfriend. For the first time I was scared to contact the DR.PEPOKO because I was not sure if what they did was against my religion. But my friend assured me that they only use Spell which is safe and has no side effects. I felt a little better and decided to contact DR.PEPOKO on his mail (pepokolovespell@gmail.com)I contacted him through his email and explained everything to him. He said that I shouldn't worry, that my lover will come back to me on his knees begging for forgiveness. I bought an item that he told me to buy for the preparation of the spell and assured me that my lover will come to me within 48 hours in remorse. My greatest joy now is that he actually came back to me and fell on his knees begging for forgiveness. We got back together and our relationship has been better this second time around. I have to give DR.PEPOKO all the credit for helping us get back to a better place than where we began. The new found love that my boyfriend has for me is incredible and i can't wait to see what the future holds for us. Do you have any problem with your loved one? Well worry no more because DR.PEPOKO can provide you with a spell to get him or her back. With the help of a spell just as he helped me. Contact DR.PEPOKO via email: pepokolovespell@gmail.com or visit her website: www.pepokolovespelltemple.blogspot.com

    Here is my details also if you wish to contact me personal::: gunnjenssen.faith@gmail.com

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  14. My name is VICTORIA KENT from England, My husband and I have been married for about 6yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested DR OGUDUGU can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me 48hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since DR OGUDUGU is the best online spell caster that is powerful and genuine. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you.

    Here’s his contact: greatogudugu@gmail.com or for easy communication contact him on whatsApp him +2348139793075

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