Skip to main content

Creating A Safe Place to Get it Wrong - Five Ways to Teach Your Child About People With Differences - Part Two

He's a SuperHero!
I am so thrilled that you have hoped back on my blog to follow the series I am sharing right now! Last week I introduced this blog series about teaching your child about people with differences. We all want our kids to be decent humans who include and accept people despite their differences,  but sometimes it's hard to know exactly how to teach kids about differences.

I started this blog series to give my advice on helping teach your kids about people with difference. I get asked all the time how I would want people to approach us, or how I would recommend handling a question or situation that a child is dealing with. I am honored to be asked these questions and so I wanted to share my heart with you all about acceptance, inclusion, and just some practical ways you can teach your kids to apply those things in the area of people with disabilities.

I have so much to say on this topic that I needed to break it up into five parts to make something you could read in less than 3 hours. 😂So, we are now on to part 2!

If you missed Part One of the series, you can read it here:

Now, on to Part Two! Enjoy!

2. Create a Safe Space to Get It Wrong

Children are not adults. I don't believe in holding children to adult standards. If a child says something inappropriate about Christian, no matter how inappropriate, I always take into consideration the child's age and intent. I realize just how embarrassing it is to parents when their five year old loudly proclaims "Mom! What's wrong with that boy's eyes!?"  However, if you are five, that's not such an off based question. If you are fifteen, yes, you should probably have a little more tact, but for young kids, they haven't learned that yet. They are curious and still have so much to learn about the world. They are asking a question they want to know the answer to, and while I know we wish our kid would word things differently at times, they don't know what they don't know, and in and of itself, being curious about a difference is not a bad thing. So, I don't fret over a five year old's innocent question about Christian.

 Available Now on Amazon
I believe that shushing, quieting, punishing, or hindering a child's curiosity or questions does little to actually further the cause of creating acceptance and understanding. Children should be free to ask questions without fear of punishment. How else will they learn? What an opportunity it opens up when they say something inappropriate to explain why it's inappropriate. It creates a chance for us to give them better dialogues to use without the pressure of that inappropriate thing being said in front of a person with a disability and you finding yourself in a panic trying to apologize and fight the urge to run away all at once.
I use something with my boys often that I have found so effective. When they say something that I would like them to rephrase or use different words for, I tell them why what they said was wrong, then, I tell them what words they CAN use to convey the same message, but do it in a way that is acceptable. Giving my boys the words to use has been so effective in helping them have words to communicate in way that I approve of. "YOU STOP IT!!!!" is turning into "Please don't take my toy." Lots of repetition and practice is key, as well as not punishing, but explaining, why some words are just not okay to say.

That's  why I believe it's important to create an atmosphere where your child is safe to ask questions, get it wrong, and be comfortable to speak their mind. Let your child be honest. If they see a difference and it scares them, it would be totally embarrassing for them to say it to the person with the difference. However, it is something that kids might feel when encountering something they haven't seen before. Make sure that you aren't punishing your child for having their feelings, but instead, talk to them about why they don't have to be scared. Tell them why they are not allowed to use the word "Weird" to describe that person they saw. Teach them appropriate things they can say instead. Use those opportunities to have an open and safe dialogue. No body knows what they don't know. So, teach rather than react.

I remember distinctly an incident when Christian was just tiny where a mom reacted with punishment to her child saying something embarrassing about Christian. We were at the doctor's office and Christian was sitting in my lap while we waited to be called back. A little girl who couldn't have been older than three walked by, noticed Christian, and said something rather inappropriate by adult standards, but honestly, she was small, so it wasn't really a big deal. Of course it needed to be addressed, but I certainly was not offended. I don't even remember now what she said. What I remember is her mother's look of terror and immediate exit. She grabbed the little girl and headed for the door, chastising her the whole way. I made out "Don't you ever say something like that again..." coming from the mother on their way out. I sympathize so much with this mother. She was mortified that her child had said something hurtful and was afraid that it would hurt my feelings upon hearing it. She was probably also embarrassed that her child was the one who said it. I have been there, I get it.

The well-meaning mother punished her child for her remarks, as I am sure she was only doing what she could in that moment, and wanted to prevent it from ever happening again. I'm thankful that she cared enough to address the issue. However, I fear that little girl learned a bigger lesson that day: People like Christian get me in trouble so I need to avoid them. Don't we all act abruptly and rashly as parents sometimes? Don't we all have that knee jerk reaction on occasion? I have no doubt that mama was well meaning. None.  There will be no judgment from me for that mama. I so appreciate how much she cared about my feelings and wanted her child to be respectful and kind to people with differences. But I wish she would have made her daughter come talk to us and ask about Christian instead. What a chance it would have been to show her a cute baby, allow her to ask questions, and hopefully nurture that trait we all want our kids to exhibit of just being kind to others.

So, in trying to teach our kids about people with differences, how to treat them and how NOT to treat them, punishment just isn't the best route when they are young and just don't know, in my opinion. It's a whole different set of standards when a child is older and knows better, but chooses to be a bully. I would hope no one would tolerate that from their child for a second, but when a young child has never been around people with differences and embarrassingly points out a difference for the first time, punishment really does send the wrong message. The best thing we can do is make sure that our kids feel safe to talk about how they feel honestly so we can address the issues that might arise.

I always believe the best, that kids have good intentions, even if what they say or do seems rude at first. There is usually a If a child is scared of a difference, there really could be a good reason for it. I have had kids tell me on occasion that they are scared when they meet Christian. When I ask why, several have told me that they are afraid they will lose their eyes. Their little minds make the connection that if Christian lost his eyes, they could to. It really makes sense when you think about it, the connection they make. Once I explained to them that Christian was born that way and that their eyes are safe, the fear is over.

I've had kids who wouldn't speak to Christian, or who even burst into tears at meeting Christian. That was embarrassing for their parents, I'm sure. Upon further investigation, they tell me that they are so sad that Christian is hurting that they just couldn't speak to him, but instead would just cry. Kids are not born malicious. They can learn it, but I just always assume that a child isn't automatically meaning to be rude. Some kids are so filled with compassion for Christian that they don't know what to say. Sometimes we perceive their actions as rude, but really, little people just don't process or react to the world the way adults do. They are still learning, and because they are not adults who are capable of reacting and responding like adults, I don't think it's okay to hold them to adult standards.

Creating a safe place for kids to get it wrong allows them to learn how to get it right. Taking a step back to teach and correct, rather than jumping to react and punish, opens doors to learning, acceptance, and inclusion. What kids are capable of is compassion and kindness, but we have to model and teach it, too.

Please enjoy these photos of our recent field trip to Old Stone Fort, Manchester, Tennessee just because! <3


  1. I love reading your blog. I have 3 little people of my own and I appreciate your perspective as a mom! I also teach child development and early childhood education classes at a high school, so your insight and experiences are valuable in my classroom as well! Thank you for your transparency and your willingness to share your life with us!

  2. How to Get Your Ex Back After a Breakup or Divorce!
    Am sharing this testimony because am so happy, I thank Dr Unity for the great thing he has done in my life, After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: , you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,you can also visit his website:
    Erica,United States.


  3. BEST WAY TO HAVE GOOD AMOUNT TO START A GOOD BUSINESS or TO START LIVING A GOOD LIFE..... Hack and take money directly from any ATM Machine Vault with the use of ATM Programmed Card which runs in automatic mode. email ( for how to get it and its cost . .......... EXPLANATION OF HOW THESE CARD WORKS.......... You just slot in these card into any ATM Machine and it will automatically bring up a MENU of 1st VAULT $5,000, 2nd VAULT $10,000, RE-PROGRAMMED, EXIT, CANCEL. Just click on either of the VAULTS, and it will take you to another SUB-MENU of ALL, OTHERS, EXIT, CANCEL. Just click on others and type in the amount you wish to withdraw from the ATM and you have it cashed instantly... Done. ***NOTE: DON'T EVER MAKE THE MISTAKE OF CLICKING THE "ALL" OPTION. BECAUSE IT WILL TAKE OUT ALL THE AMOUNT OF THE SELECTED VAULT. email ( We are located in USA.

  4. Omg I Finally Got Helped  !! I'm so excited right now, I just have to share my testimony on this Forum.. The feeling of being loved takes away so much burden from our shoulders. I had all this but I made a big mistake when I cheated on my wife with another woman  and my wife left me for over 4 months after she found out..  I was lonely, sad and devastated. Luckily I was directed to a very powerful spell caster Dr Emu who helped me cast a spell of reconciliation on our Relationship and he brought back my wife and now she loves me far more than ever.. I'm so happy with life now. Thank you so much Dr Emu, kindly Contact  Dr Emu Today and get any kind of help you want.. Via Email or Call/WhatsApp +2347012841542

  5. Hi, I've been searching for help on how to get my ex lover back that broke up with me 2 years ago.. I was traumatized by the break up and nearly wanted to commit suicide but I thank God that I got the contact of LORD ZAKUZA the spiritual father that helped me to get back my ex lover after much searching of help from different places. When I got in touch with LORD ZAKUZA, I explained everything to him to he gave me his words of encouragement and told me that he was going to prepare a spell for me that will help me get back my ex lover within 48 hours and I believed in his words for I was referred to him by a friend who he helped and right now, my ex lover is back and we are living happily together to get married next month. If you need any assistance whatsoever like getting cured from sickness, getting pregnant E.T.C. Then, I suggest that you get in touch with LORD ZAKUZA now through his WhatsApp him on + 1 (740) 573–9483 or Email: I'm forever grateful to you.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why I Won't Allow My Toddler to Have Cosmetic Surgery

It strikes me as odd that I have been asked many, many times if I will have Christian undergo cosmetic surgery to repair his birth defect. Apparently, it's not an odd question to most people, because I could not tell you how many times I've been asked. The number literally lurks somewhere close to 500, if I had to guess. I am not AT ALL offended by the question, and I enjoy explaining my answer, but still, I find it odd to be asked. Imagine your beautiful child that you simply adore. Her little button nose, those ears he got from his daddy, that little smile with that one not-so-straight tooth right up front, those freckles that dot her cheeks, that bright red hair, or that jet black hair. As you imagine that, I am sure you have a few emotions that go along with it: adoration, admiration, love. You probably think that your child is the prettiest thing you've laid eyes on. Well, when I look at my child, with tissue in the place of where eyes should be, and a crooked s

My Experiences with Bullying

For anyone who follows us on Facebook, you have probably, at one time or another, seen someone make a rude or hateful comment on a photo I've posted of Christian. It has been happening pretty much since he was born. In fact, much of the reason that I decided to make the video that went viral was because of all the negative comments that we would receive, whether through social media or face to face when we were out in public with Christian. And I have to say, I am tired of it. I sometimes find myself unable to deal with a hateful comment on a particular day, or exhausted with the idea of checking my email and finding another rude comment left on my YouTube Channel. So this blog is my outlet to vent my frustrations and share my wisdom on the matter. I consider myself a professional at handling bullying, after all, considering all the bullying I've dealt with over the last few years. At first, the comments hurt. I remember the day that I first took Christian out in in public

If it Was Easy

Last week we visited Tennessee School for the Blind. This was a trip that I have been hearing about for about a year. I’ve known it was coming, but I had no idea what to expect. There was some anticipation with a touch of dread mixed in about this trip.  The purpose of this visit was an evaluation. That single word is too small to really describe what all took place, really. Christian was evaluated on pretty much everything. His vision was checked (no brainer, but they did have an ophthalmologist just take a look, to confirm his vision impairment. It’s always good to have it documented on paper.) The school AKA TSB also brought in physical, occupational, and speech therapists, vision teachers, orientation and mobility specialists, assistive technology experts, a psychologist, and just an entire array of specialists to do this evaluation. He was ranked against other blind children his age to get a more accurate measure because it doesn’t really give us a good picture to try to co