Censoring of Christian's Face on Facebook

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 I wanted to talk about something that happened last week on my personal social media account, and which has been happening on Christian's facebook page for a while now, because it happened again last week on one of my many birthday posts for Christian. The week of my boys' birthdays, I post tons and tons of photos and make tons of posts about them, because I want to record memories for them to have. My dad took a lot (by standards of the 90s, but not by today's standards) of photos of me and my brother when we were little. We have several photo albums full of photos of our childhood and I love that we do. So, I like to take lots of photos of my boys and post funny things they have said, or just share things that I know will be meaningful to me when they're older. One day when I'm gone, I hope they have so many photos, vidoes, and memories to look at. 

 So, birthday week for Christian was last week and it was a big one! He turned double digits! So, of course, I had to make a huge deal of this milestone birthday. Birthdays are also important to me because we were told not to expect to ever celebrate a birthday for Christian. And when Chandler came along, we never thought we'd have another child, so getting to celebrate him is so special too!

 So, on the day before Christian's birthday, I shared a post about Christian's last day as a 9 year old and I took a minute to describe his personality. I want to one day read that and remember who he was when he turned 10. I talked about his courage and tenacity and how gifted he is. With the post, I shared a cute photo of him smiling while laying in bed that night. 

The post read: "Tonight he goes to bed a 9 year old. Tomorrow Christian Buchanan will be 10. I just can't beleive it. It went by so fast. Christian is so strong willed and determined. When he wants to accomplish something, he will find a way. He was born with it. He's always been this way. Nothing and no one can stop him. He is gifted in music. His mind works in amazing ways with numbers and engineering, in ways I can't dream of using my mind. His memory is just impressive. He believes in fairness and doing what's right. He loves the most unusual and quirky things for a child, like elevators, voice recorders, and inflatable yard decorations. He is compassionate towards animals, a bit of a worry wart, and a total jokester. He can make a room roar, and he loves the lime light. In some ways, he's still much younger than 10. He needs me so much still to help him day to day. And in other ways, he has had to grow up faster than most kids. I will never forget the day he woke up from a 7 hour surgery, in so much pain it was taking all he had in him to withstand it, and he never complained. A single, bloody tear fell down his cheek. He has a good heart, a kind soul, a strong conviction, and an amazing attitude about life. It's not been easy to teach him how to use what God's given him, but he's getting there, and God is faithful to do what I can't in fulfilling His plans for C. God sure blessed me when he allowed me to be the one Christian calls mama. I don't deserve this boy, but I'm sure glad he's mine." Here's a screen shot of the photo used in the post.

The next day, a message popped up while I was on facebook saying that the photo had been covered because the post shows graphic content. It said that it didn't go against community standards, but that it may be sensitive to some people. It gave me the option to appeal the decision, which I did, but I never heard anything back and the photo is still covered, so I'm going to assume that my appeal was rejected. So now, before anyone can see the cute picture of Christian lying in his bed smiling, they have to click to uncover the photo. This has been happening for years. This isn't new, unfortunately. I have been temporarily banned from facebook many times over the years for posting photos of Christian, with the justification that the photo goes against community standards. It was always just a simple photo of Christian. One in particular was of he and I hugging and facing the camera. I remember it specifically because it was longest ban I ever got. I took the picture at church, our cheeks were pressed together, and we were smiling. That's it.

Christian's facebook page, Lacey and Christian Buchanan, has a permanent restriction on it for "posting graphic or violent content." The content that they call grpahic or violent are photos of Christian's face. I understand that facebook algorithms will sometimes mistakenly catch things that it shouldn't. A friend recently shared that facebook bans her often for posting photos of her daughter because her little baby daughter has a hemangioma or some other kind of birth mark on her little bald head that's red and looks to be about the size of a quarter, so Facebook algorithms think it's a nipple. Made me giggle just a bit because of how silly that it is, but unfortunately, it makes it difficult for this woman to post pictures of her child! I get that those algorihms aren't people and they are doing what they're programmed to do with less than perfect accuracy.

 I'm not mad about that. My issue arises when I appeal the decision and tell them that hey, this isn't graphic content, this is my son's face, and they don't reverse their decison. I'm sure you guys can already guess how I feel about this. It is a HUGE issue when the biggest social media company in the world labels a person's face as graphic. Let's be honest. Facebook is powerful. They like to downplay how powerful they are, but I think we all saw the limits of their power during the election when they literally censored the President of the United States. (No commentary on the rights or wrongs of that please, I'm just pointing out the precedent that sets, as it's never been done before and it's a HUGE thing.) Facebook can silence world leaders if they want. They are powerful beyond almost any other company on earth. 

So, my issue arises in arguably the most powerful company on earth setting a precedent that people with facial differences deserve a content warning over their faces. My issue is the most powerful company in the world calling my son's face graphic. Facebook is a cultural leader and this type of thing leads the culture in the wrong direction. This is the type of thing that, when people see it, they are being met with an ever so subtle inference that people with facial differences are bad or gross. This is the type of thing that I won't stop fighting against until it's gone. Christian deserves so much better. He deserves to live in a world where this doesn't happen. He deserves equal respect, equal treatment, and equal protection as every person without a facial difference. He deserves to be acknowledged as an equal to every other human, and we're just not quite there yet. This is the hill I will die on though. I happen to have a friend who works for Facebook and asked for her help in trying to remove the graphic content warning on our Lacey and Christian Buchanan page, to which she happily agreed to help. As we discussed the issue, she said "We have to do better." I agree and I'm so thankful to have help in this fight. 

 But, it goes deeper than just facebook. This is not a facebook issue, when you get to the roots. It's a cultural issue. Facebook didn't just decide one day to label facial difference. Facial difference has been labeled for all of human history. Facebook is merely following the current ideolody on facial difference. So, I'm not here to blame facebook and pretend it's doing something new or purposeful with malicious intent. It's just following along with what our culture has always done. However, that doesn't make it okay, and that's why I am writing this post. It's got to change, and the quicker the better. It's time for a change, past time. But it won't change until people speak up. Christian has no idea about what goes on in the real world when it comes to discrimination of disabled people. I have mostly shielded him from that nastiness so far. So, it's up to me to be the one to speak up for him right now. One day, it will be his burden to bear, but not at 10 years old. For now, it's on this mama bear. I have fought and I will continue to fight against things like this. Not in a blaming or condeming way, but in a way that, I hope, makes people realize that they were wrong, but moreso, that they want to make it right. So, I am calling on Facebook to make this right and to lead by example in this. I am calling on all social media platforms to stop labeling disabled people with content warnings. I am calling on everyone else to stand up for and with those of us who this affects personally. I am calling on everyone to play a role in ending this type of abelist and sterotypical thinking about disabled people as a culture. I am calling for a day when people with facial difference will be seen as people first, and their facial difference will be an after thought because we're all the same human race, no matter the abilty, difference or need. 

Christian's face is beautiful. People often say he has a "sunshine smile" and I agree. His smile lights up his whole face, and people around him can't help but smile too when they see it. His face is different, but that does NOT mean less. When I see his face, I see nothing but a beautiful little boy who is changing the world, and I won't rest until everyone else sees him that way too.