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Don't Get Your Pleasure From My Pain

Hey guys!

Thank you so much for joining me today on my blog! I've got something today that I want to talk about that has just fired me up, you guys. And so let's just jump right into it. I'm going to share a screen capture here for you guys.  I received a comment a few days ago on a video I posted. The video is of me holding Christian while Christian smiles. During the video, I give him a kiss on the cheek while a song plays in the background. The video text says "When people tell me that Christian shouldn't have been born" and then the lyrics to the song says "Let me show you what you're missing. Paradise." 

So somebody actually had the... I don't even know what the word is... I would say low intelligence, but I don't even think it comes from that, and I don't want to insult people with intellectual disabilities because they know how to be decent humans. But the had the audacity or gall or whatever to comment on that video and say, "he suffering just like a dog aging he can't even see or enjoy life just like how we put animals down for getting old or for certain conditions he should be put down no events, but he's living in misery."

I just want to note first off that there is not a single bit of punctuation in this entire comment. I typed it out as it was typed, without correcting it so that it would be accurate. Like, this person is telling 
me what to do with my child but doesn't know how to use a period. So I'm just going to start there. The audacity of that alone is staggering.

But let's break this down a little bit further. So let's let's take this first phrase in the drivel of a comment, "he suffering just like a dog ageing[.]" Not even "he's." There's no apostrophe to be found and not even an "s" on the end of "he" to make the conjunction yet this person somehow thinks they have the authority to instruct me on my child? Besides that, this is a stranger on the internet who knows no more of us than the 10 second clip he commented on. Secondly, this is a video of Christian smiling and being held and kissed my his mama. Okay, stranger on the internet. What evidence do you have to support your proposition that he's suffering? I'll wait, and I'll be waiting until eternity because there is none. He isn't suffering. But the fact that this person would make that statement as if it's a sure fact is what makes me the most angry. 

Secondly, why is this person comparing a human being to a dog? T
hat part of the comment tells you everything you need to know about what type of person this guy is. This entire comment is rooted in dehumanization and ableism as evidenced by the fact that he compared my son to a dog.

The next sentence in the comment says, "he can't even see or enjoy life[.]" Imagine my shock at reading this. All this time I thought Christian laughing and smiling and exuding joy was genuine. So it comes as a surprise to me that being able to see is how we measure if somebody enjoys life or not. I had no idea that only blind people have depression or anxiety, or that only blind people didn't enjoy life, and that if you have sight, then you automatically enjoy life and no one with their sight is ever not enjoying life. (Insert heaviest sarcasm ever.) That's wild to me because I struggled with depression for about eight years. How did that happen since I have sight because according to this person, only disabled people aren't happy? 

See, I thought we measured quality of life on things like if somebody has adequate nutrition, if somebody has responsive, attached parents who love them, if somebody has access to clean drinking water and health care and education. You know, those types of things. I did not realize that we based quality of life solely on whether or not somebody is blind. That's a new one on me. Shocking right? 

So obviously that entire paragraph is filled with sarcasm because where did this person come up with this craziness? Why do people make things up and then come on Facebook and just spew them? He didn't even try to be correct. He just wanted to be loud. All you have to do is think about a single person you know who has a vision who's not happy. All of us are not happy at some point. All of us struggle with misery at some point. That's called being human. Misery is part of the human condition, not part of the disabled condition. This person is so wrong that it just baffles me.

So let's move on to the
 next sentence. "[J]ust like how we put animals down for getting older or for certain conditions he should be put down. Okay? So. It's shocking to me that I even have to say this, but... we don't put humans down. That's called euthanasia, and at least in the United States, for now, it is illegal, because it is immoral. We don't euthanize humans, because every human deserves dignity in life and death. I don't want this to be a debate on euthanasia, because I know there are people who support it in the sense that if someone chooses it for themselves, but that isn't what this person is suggesting. They aren't considering Christian's wishes at all but simply suggesting that he be euthanized because he isn't worthy to live. So while I am personally morally opposed to euthanasia, I don't want to debate it here. This is however, a good time to debate on eugenics. 

We specifically do not euthanize people because they're disabled. That is purely eugenics. Do you know who else proposed that we euthanize disabled people? Adolf Hitler. Congratulations Talavera Matthew, you are aligning your beliefs with Adolf Hitler. We don't do that here and you will be called out and ostracized because it's disgusting and as long as I have breath in my lungs, I will fight to make sure nothing like what he did will ever happen again. This person is openly proposing eugenics against my son. Let me be clear, if this is not an international hate crime, it should be. This person is so morally depraved that he would rather euthanize disabled people than coexist with them. The level of depravity of this human knows no bounds and that's why I'm not going to hide his name or "go easy" on him. His ideology is dangerous and should be condemned and shamed to the fullest extent. This must be called out for what it is. There is no room to let this slide or ignore when someone is proposing literal crimes against the disabled community.

So finally, let's go to this last thought this person shared, if you can even call it intelligent enough to be a thought. "[N]o offense[.]" Let's just be clear. I took offense when you publicly and openly advocated for the euthanization of my son and an entire group of people like him. I take great offense. When you personally advocate that my child be euthanized and you can't even use the big boy word of euthanize and have to say "put down" as if he's a dog, comparing him to an animal. I take a whole lot of offense. And that's why I took the time to write this post. I hope it makes this person and others reconsider their position, but if it doesn't, I at least hope it scares them to know that they are outnumbered and their views will not be tolerated.

Although I can't make anyone think a certain way, I can continue calling out ableist, Nazi aligned ideology and loudly pointing out the horrible wrongs of this thought process so that these people don't ever get into positions of power or influence. And at the very least I can hopefully make some people think twice before publicly sharing thoughts like this. 

The final thought here, He says "no offense but hes living in misery[.]" The part about this that blows my mind is that this stranger thinks he knows that Christian is living in misery while me his mom doesn't. I grew this child in my womb. I delivered him. I have raised him for almost 11 years now. And I don't know his living status, but this stranger on the internet does. His comment is directed at me, instructed me on what I should do with my child, because obviously he knows better than me. That's what absolutely blows my mind about this. The audacity of this person to think that they know the quality of life of my child based on literally a 10 second clip on Facebook and that they know it better than I do. Christian is one of the happiest people I know, but if truth mattered to this guy, he would never had made this comment filled with lies to begin with. Christian doesn't dislike being himself. He doesn't dislike the way he looks. Christian loves being him. The only people who don't like it are people like Talavera Matthew, who are ableist and Nazi aligned. 

So my question is why do people like this get a voice? Why do people like this get a say in what disabled people should or shouldn't be doing? Because I'm here to propose that they don't. I'm here to propose that people like Talavera Matthew need to be shut up and not allowed to speak in public arenas that involve people that he is openly and actively discriminating against. I'm advocating that people like Talavera Matthew need their social medias taken away from them until they stop presenting Nazi aligned, ableist propaganda. That's all this is, propaganda. None of it's true. It's all based on and built on lies and false pretenses. It's all based in and built on Nazi aligned, false information. 

So what I'm asking of you guys is please don't go and attack this person on their Facebook page. That's not what I want out of this. And if you do and I find out I'm going to call you out on it. Let's not do that. Personally attacks are not how we win this. We have the high road here, so let's take it. We have truth on our side, so that is our weapon here. What I want you guys to do is to link arms with me in this fight and stand with me against ideologies like this, against thought processes that would call for eugenics of people with disabilities.

If you see something like this happening on social media or in real life, speak up,. and don't let it go. Call out what is wrong and replace it with what is right. Because if we don't, the voices like Talavera Matthews are the ones who get heard and we cannot let voices like his be what dominates the conversations around disability. Our voices must be louder and filled with the truth. So I'm asking you not to attack, but to speak up in truth. Be righteously louder than the voices of eugenics advocates and ableist. 

Unfortunately, this comment is not unusual. I get these fairly often, and I'm not going to be the only one who gets them. I can guarantee you that other parents of disabled children are receiving the exact same message. I can guarantee it, and I can also guarantee that they are probably, like me, tired. So I'm asking for those of you who aren't in our shoes, who aren't disabled or raising somebody who's disabled or have a family member who's disabled stand with us in this and help hold us up. We will fight to our dying breath with our without you, but we are tired, and we want your help.

I hope this fight means as much to you as it does to me. I am dedicated to spending my life to make the world a better place for Christian and others like him. Would you please share this blog on your social media accounts to spread the message? Would you please find me on my social media accounts and support what I'm doing? Would you please share this link with people who you find on social media who might need to hear it? Thank you guys for being here for us and for standing with us. I promise you that together we are changing the world. 


  1. I have never thought Christian to be like this person described him. Christian is a happy, go lucky child. Living freely and enjoying life. Yes he realizes he is different but he has learned to adapt to survive in this world. Some of the things he has accomplished just amazes me. Christian is an awesome young man. It's sad that there are people like this person in the world today. Christian you just continue being you and enjoying life. We love you!!!

  2. Wow Christian you are our lil movie star i am watching you right now on tv your awesome lil man God Bless you and your family

  3. That comes from a person that chooses to be ignorant. She had no desire to improve herself with spelling, writing, using proper English. That type of person will always exist to put others down because she needs people to appear worse than she is. And she is low, to spend the time putting a child who knows joy and his mother, who loves him, down. Instead of learning and improving herself, she desires to make you and Christian feel less and beneath her. You did the right thing and never let anyone make you or Christian, your other son and husband, feel anything but joy, happiness, and love for one another. Pity her.

  4. Don’t let this ignorant person affect you! We need to pray for our enemies. I will do so once I’m done being angry. Such a horrible thing to say, but you and Christian are better than that awful individual!

  5. Holy smokes what a sociopathic thing to think, let alone say! I sure hope that person doesn’t have physical access to others. Daaang…

  6. This world is full of ignorant and cruel people. It's hard to just shrug it off sometimes when it hurts you. Please know that there are still millions of people who are good and kind. You are doing an extra awesome job at being a mama and protecting your little fellas. My heart goes out to you. I am proud of you. You are doing an awesome job. Your boys are as lucky to have you as you are to have them. Keep up the good work.

  7. Lacey,
    As a parent my self as a greiving parent to one of my son's James Dale Grizzle.. You may have went to school with one of my son James or Charles. Tho my story is much different than you and your families. The comparing your child to a dog is for one wrong . James death caused by an impaired driver has been compared to that of a dog. Example when someone asks how many children I have I say 3 and in reality I still have 3 just one is forever 18 in heaven with our lord. Now to the comparison to my son's death someone said oh I Know how you feel on losing your son I have lost a child too. I lost my dog and it hurts so bad being here without my dog. I ask her does she have human children her reply oh yes , my reply was ma'am a child you gave birth to you could never imagine this kind of heartbreak in life .. You (me) I'm suppose to pass before my children but God had a different plan but comparing the pain of what you have gave birth to, to be taken will haunt you till I take my last breath. Why I am commenting on your post is this Christian was born with a disability of not having sight so as I see this God sent him here to you to show the world this beautiful boy to grow with him to teach him how to live a happy life that of no sight. I feel and this is me Christian was born with no sight so he's not missing what didn't have it may be different had he been Born with sight then lost later in childhood then he may have not been this happy child you have introduced to this world . Cause then he would have known the blue skies, the sun , the snow , the lakes , the sea, etc. But you paint these scenes for him so sees in his mind what you tell him. He hears, he smells, he taste these things he knows. He's happy cause he never knew sight but for another person to say he should be put down like a dog because he's blind that's real ignorant . This person one day God will send them some hurtle in their miserable life (which is what they are) to be heartless to the beautiful child to say put him down they will one day have something happen to them . Lacey this child is a blessing to the world this child is showing us it doesn't matter about a disability he is showing and you are showing the world he can overcome this and do anything he sets his mind too. Your such great mom by sharing him with everyone around the world you can accomplish anything disability or not . I enjoy hear y'all laugh keep up the good work and thank you for sharing your life with him to us I hope I don't sound crazy in this post I just don't understand comparing him to a animal or any human for that fact

  8. Sickening...Can this person not be reported for hate speech/crime?

  9. I was appalled to read this crap and just wonder if FB Community policy approves of this comment. Lacey, you are so much wiser and nicer than I would have been. I read most of your posts/blogs and have followed your family for close to 10 years. Christian is amazing but Lacey, you are even more amazing and wise way beyond your years. FYI, this comment by Talavera Matthew hurts my heart to know that people like this actually exist. I love your family so much.

  10. Reading this breaks my heart. My grandson is on the Autism spectrum and for many years, non-verbal. People are so very quick to judge, roll their eyes and say things like "Don't you wish he was normal?" He's normal, this is our normal. Life is precious and the Lord made you Christian's mom because he knew you'd love him and give him the very best. How can anyone say he's living in misery?! He's a happy kiddo! Stay strong mama. The internet is so incredibly toxic but you're handling it beautifully while continuing to share Christian with all of us. God bless your family.

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