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Showing posts from July, 2017

"Mommy, What Happened To My Eyes?"

It happened today. He asked. He asked me the question I've been anticipating, dreading, since soon after he was born. "Mommy, what happened to my eyes?" I froze for a second. Then asked him to repeat what he had said. I wanted to be sure I had heard him correctly, but really, it bought me a few more seconds to think of my response and process what he had just said to me. His question wasn't sad. It didn't carry the weight of the heaviness that I feel sometimes. It was a simple question that he simply wanted an answer to. It was a question full of curiosity, not pain. I swallowed the knot in my throat and tried to figure out if Christian had actually asked me about his eyes or if I had misunderstood. You know those moments of panic where you suddenly have the ability to think 47 thoughts in a matter of five seconds. I was there. I don't think I could love this boy more I had decided long ago that I wasn't going to mention Christian's d

I've Got Impostor Syndrome!!!

Photo I took to 3 weeks prior to my last day of school!  One year ago this week, I completed my first day of testing for the bar exam. The nerves were unreal. I really didn't think I would be that nervous. It takes a lot to get me worked up, because once you've seen your child lying in a hospital bed almost dying, not too many things can top that, ya know? But man, I was was the wreck that day. I remember the relief I felt when it was over and yet there was still this dull little ache of nervousness  because I knew I had to wait until October for my results. So here I am one year later. And I'm just going to be honest with you guys. I suffer from an extreme case of impostor  syndrome. I made it through law school facing odds that most anybody would call challenging, even without law school thrown into the mix. I remember going from the NICU to law school for several weeks during my first year. Raising Christian while doing law school was definitely top three

A Perfect Life Won't Make You Happy

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be joyful. Photo Credit: FireFly Photography in Murfreesboro, TN That concept seems so simple, but when you really think about how it applies to our society, it's easy to see how we as a society really struggle to understand and apply it. Our society is FULL of commercialization that tells the listener that they simply must have that newest, latest product, that they need to look like this model, that they need these clothes, this makeup, this body, this hair, this car. Then, they will be happy. They do this because it makes them money when we go purchase these things in an attempt to fill that void and make ourselves happy, right? What iPhone are model are we even on at this point? I can't keep up. "Keeping up with the Jones" is a real thing. We envy other people and what they have. If only I had a house that nice, a family like that, then I'd be happy. I have found myself even doing it in mom circles. I wish my

Terrible Two's? I call this the "Suffering Sixes!"

We've all heard of the terrible two's, but what do you call it when a child turns six and discovers his own free will and independence? The suffering sixes!?!? haha!! Whatever it is, I think we are in it! Christian had probably one of the worst karate classes he's ever had today. Whatever his sensei told him to do, he was determined to do the opposite. It took multiple times to redirect him to any task.. Even just simple tasks like "Close your hands into fists" became laborious as it took asking five, six, or seven times to get even a little cooperation. Christian at karate today There was very little karate accomplished today, but I hope something bigger might be taking place. Because of the difficult time Christian had today in karate, it gave his sensei and I both a platform to discuss these behavior issues with Christian. It gave us a really concrete concept to talk to Christian about, which he needs to be able to comprehend and expand his thoughts. I

Gasps and Growing

Earlier this week we visited Little Rock, Arkansas.  It was an extremely quick trip, there and back in about 38 hours. I was invited to interview with FamilyLife for their radio program. The program isn't available yet so I can't share links for it, but you can check out the FamilyLife website if you're interested in knowing more about them. ( The program will air sometime in Septmeber, and I will share it with you guys then! I interviewed with FamilyLife about my book, Through the Eyes of Hope. We left the studio at 3pm and had a six hour drive ahead of us. We hoped to get home around 10pm and get the boys to bed. That was the plan. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. The first big snag was when I locked my keys in the car. That set us back a good hour. Christian had dropped his iPod shuffle in the floor while I was driving, so when we stopped for gas, I tried to find it for him. It keeps him busy on the driv